Find Your Truth

Every reading is a challenge in one way or another. The hardest readings to do are the ones with clients who only kinda, maybe, sorta want to know the truth. Once the truth is out there it needs to be dealt with and a lot of us just don’t want to deal. In the long run, we learn that there is nothing more precious, more profound than truth, than the reality of a situation. I am a very reality-based Tarot reader. I don’t play games. It’s not always easy to be so straightforward but in my world there is no other option… we will read about the TRUTH.

Case in point: Kelly, a lovely 49-year old woman who has been through the ringer. I’ve now been reading for her for more than 4 years and she is someone I’ve come to love and respect. But initially she was a very hard read. Her truth was horrific and painful and overwhelming. Her life was a mess and it all centered around her relationship.

It’s been a long road but I look forward to her weekly readings for many reasons: she’s brave, intelligent, open-minded, has a positive attitude and looks toward the future with hope and eager anticipation. It wasn’t always that way though. When I took the first call from Kelly, she was distraught, could barely get her words out. She was in such a terrible relationship with a man who was verbally and emotionally abusive — a selfish, narcissistic, egomaniac — a man so nasty and self-involved that he had to make her feel bad in order to make himself feel better.

At first, Kelly really didn’t want to know her truth. I mean, she knew her truth, but did not want to admit it to herself or anyone else. She made excuse after excuse for his bad behavior. In fact, she blamed herself for the majority of what was wrong. He had her so twisted, so tied up in an emotional noose that with every new hell that he brought into their home, she became a smaller and smaller version of who she really was.

His energy was so strong that with just a first name and birth date, I knew who he was. I described to her my version of this man — a man she was addicted to — and seemingly hit the nail right on the head. I went on to use my cards to draw out detail after detail of their life. Not just the bad situations — the good, the bad and the ugly. I dissected their past, present and future with very little input from Kelly. At first, she would sit there and just listen and every once in a while I would hear a gasp. I knew I had touched on a nerve when that happened.

For our first couple of readings, I tried to take things slowly, even though I had the whole story spelled out in front of me with the cards. After our fifth reading, I knew for sure that she wanted nothing but the truth and was somehow ready to hear it. We discussed and worked through so many moments that were hard for her to admit to, let alone talk about.

As the months went by I started to see these amazing changes in Kelly. Rather than being passive, she was an active participant. Rather than making excuses for him she began to realize what HIS truth was. Instead of wanting to run away — or worse, live in a state of indifference or apathy — she was ready and willing to do whatever was necessary in order to flesh out the truth. She began to be open to hearing lovely things about herself and understand what a healthy relationship is and what her value truly is.

Step-by-step, reading-by-reading, she began to believe in HER TRUTH: she is a viable, loving, giving person who deserves respect, honor, happiness. Through Tarot she has learned that she needs to love herself, to look inside of herself first and foremost to fill her needs. If she wants something better, something more than the life she was living, it is up to her to make that happen. Kelly started to realize that if she wanted change, it would have to start with her. Her boyfriend had proven who he was and had 9 years to do so. She knew his truth and once she was ready to accept it, everything changed.

It was a hard-won battle, but after 16 months of working through the issues — point by point, one situation at a time, one moment at a time — she eased into her new life. She did what I call “rise up” — gathered the strength and the determination to move towards a better life. While her boyfriend was off on one of his many adventures (all financed in the past by Kelly), she packed up all of his belongings and when he returned, asked him to leave.

He said some of the most vulgar, hurtful things imaginable and then went on his way. For several months he called and tried to get back in the home, but she held her ground. Of course, he would start off with magical, loving apologies but when she didn’t fall for it, he turned on her and unleashed his venomous words. Instead of believing those words, instead of believing him, she believed in herself, in her TRUTH. We do readings weekly, or more often if she feels the need.

The guidance, the wisdom that comes through Tarot — well, there is nothing like it. It IS universal. We are all searching for our truth, for our relevance, for our happiness, for our future. Kelly found hers with patience, fortitude, determination and heart. Although it wasn’t always easy, it actually became easier as time went on.

The more willing she is to act and react, to define, defend and follow through on her truth, the closer she gets to living the life she only ever dreamed of. Our reading this past week was so light-hearted, so positive, and so inspirational it’s hard to remember the Kelly of several years ago. She just built her dream home (on her own) and is so happy and healthy in her own right that she finally feels ready to find her life partner.

She now knows what she wants and better yet, knows what she doesn’t want. In facing her fears, in learning her truth, she’s put herself on a path to a brighter, happier future than she ever thought possible.

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19 thoughts on “Find Your Truth

  1. Larry Grenie

    Iknow how some of you feel.
    I had a women live with me who wanted to owen every thing i had built in my two businesses.
    And just take over ,
    Just bought a new home that i felt like i did not want to go home to,
    This was in 2002 and sence she moved on i have lived alone every sence.
    Dateing is quit differnt to day then when i was in my teens and 20s,
    There seams to be a lack of respect and morals.
    It makes a man really injoy being alone .
    and there are some you can never do enough for them.

    Reply
  2. Norene Gonzalez

    I think it is wise to say to yourself ,over and over again-NO ONE CAN HURT ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.I too fall into these kinds of struggles in my life.and it happens at the worst times ,we think. Like holidays.I love people so much,and want to be loved in that way-but at 48 yrs. old,I found out that ,that is unrealistic.If no one loves me here on this earth like I invission,thats ok.My GOD of my understanding LOVES ME MORE,than I could ever want.I love the loving person that I am. <3 I can and will be changed by what happens to me-but I refuse to be reduced by it!Every thing that happens to me,including hurt,only makes me a stronger person,and a more loving person. I used to be very negative ,but now I change those negatives into positives as soon as possible. I found out that I am not so weak after all! And you can too. Be strong,thes things take time to learn-I am always learning…Good luck to you! <3 You deserve all that lie has to offer <3 Remember when you point a finger,there are three more pointing back at you.Don't just concentrait on others ,take a good look at how you can improve yourself <3ALWAYS<3

    Reply
  3. celestial

    I spent 16 years with such a man… one who was highly mentally and emotionally abusive. I finally got the courage to leave him which I did only to find another man even more mentally abusive than he was. That also recently ended. Recently I heard from my ex, the one I was with for 16 years. I had visions of his face that day, it was all a dark gray cloud with his face inside of it… and he looked very unhappy. That same day he texted and called me. I didn’t respond immediately to his text, and then I became scared for some reason. Its like he still has some hold on me. Less than an hour later he calls me and leaves a nasty voice mail, obviously drunk and swearing. My downfall is that I care for people, and since he had injured himself many times while drunk I called him back. He answered the phone and was verbally very cruel. All the positive energy I had worked so hard to build up came crashing down. After the phone call I was left crying and devastated from all the things that were said to me. For some reason he found that necessary to do right before the holidays.

    Reply
  4. ciarra

    LOTS of us can relate to Kelly. We’ve all been there – we all have stories to tell. One of the greatest gifts though is the ability for us to heal. With time, patience, consistency and guidance we can heal and begin to move forward. Readings can actually help you with all of the above – step-by-step. My hope for you is that your broken heart is healing, that you’re willing to do the work and that you realize that your greatest love is actually ahead of you, not behind. xoxo

    Reply
  5. ciarra

    That saying is correct, isn’t it – that the truth shall set you free. A little cliche but true none-the-less. Thank you too Amelia for your kind words. My client has been empowered and is living her life like never before. I am certain she is on a better path and when she veers off a little, we figure it out with the cards. She believes, just like I do, that Tarot is an invaluable resource and when in doubt, just read about it and work it out!!

    Reply
  6. ciarra

    Verbena – you have now given that same gift back to me with your kind words – Thank you. I am starting my shift with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. I love Tarot – it is such an amazing wealth of wisdom. When my clients are open to a reading and really, really do want an honest reading, well, there’s just nothing like it.

    Reply
  7. Psychic Amelia 9772

    A wonderful story and article and one that is much needed for all of those who get readings to read. We always speak the truth – whether they like the truth or not. Your client HAS taken back her power because of the TRUTH. Blessings to her . . Amelia

    Reply
  8. Abigail Ext 9570

    Ciarra,
    Brava Bella belesimo! What a wonderful inspirational story for our clients. Tell your lovly client she has taken back her power and we are all sending her the brightest of blessings coming into the New Year.
    Many Blessings & Happy Holidays to you!
    ~Abigail~

    Reply
  9. Heartbroken Gal

    Ciarra,
    What a wonderful story…..I am sure there are alot of us that can relate to Kelly.
    Kelly may you have a wonderful life and find your true love.
    You go girl as you surely deserve it.

    Reply

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