In Search of Special People
Having deep, satisfying relationships—both romantic and platonic—is an essential part of a meaningful human experience. But if you aren’t lucky enough to have enduring childhood friendships or a soulmate for a partner, you may still be searching for special people with whom to have meaningful connections. In today’s world where texting and social media can make up the bulk of a friendship (or relationship, for that matter), making a true connection can be a challenge. If you want something better, here are five ways to form deeply satisfying relationships.
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1. Look in the Right Places
While it certainly can happen, you likely won’t make meaningful connections while downing shots at the club—unless clubbing is your passion and you want to connect with fellow imbibers and dance floor aficionados. This doesn’t mean you need to start going to spoken word events or fancy art shows—you don’t need to be someone you’re not to find your people. Quite the opposite, in fact. But you do need to show up to places that are conducive to making connections and having conversations, like meet-up groups, dog parks, and gatherings for causes you care about. At these places, you’ll find like-minded people who are passionate about the same things you are. Once you have an in, you can feel out other people to see if meaningful connections are possible.
2. Become a Skilled Listener
If you want to form meaningful connections with other people, you need to be a skilled listener. Ask questions and be curious about others. Spend less time feeling the need to prove yourself in a conversation. When you give someone the space to talk and allow them to feel like they’re being listened to, true connection happens.
3. Make Time for Facetime
Don’t rely on digital means to form or nurture meaningful connections. While texting is great for checking in and making plans, swapping emojis likely won’t lead to something deeper. Instead, carve out time in your schedule for the people you care about, even if it means getting a quick coffee or even running errands together. Spending time face-to-face helps deepen connections.
4. Stop (Or Limit) Gossiping
While talking about other people—mutual friends, family, ex-partners—can seem like a bonding experience at first, constantly bad-mouthing others or rehashing the past will only pave the way for a toxic relationship. Focus on making meaningful connections with others that don’t cause you to rely on gossip as a mechanism for camaraderie. Because, in the end, all you’ll have are salacious stories to swap, not real conversations.
5. Be Someone Others Can Count On
To make meaningful connections that last, you need to be someone others can count on. The special people in your life need to know that they can count on you in good times and in not-so-good times alike. Therefore, you need to show up when you say you will, call when you plan to, and have a good reason if you need to cancel on a friend or romantic partner. Being flaky—and, therefore, not trustworthy— never leads to strong relationships of any kind.
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