Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Sana from Beirut asks:
I will try to make it short. I have been with a guy for three years now in an on and off relationship. He is known for jumping from one relationship into the other. Well, ours was a bit more serious because he proposed with an engagemnet ring and I met his family, but the guy never made any step forward. We are stuck in that stage and whenevever marriage is mentioned he makes excuses and asures me that he has no intention of hurting me or letting go of me, but at the same time he doesn’t treat me as nice as he is supposed to. This has been going on for so long. I feel lost, confused and doubtful. I’m in so much love that I can’t really let go of him. I feel devastated though because I can’t really get what is going on in his mind or heart. I would really appreciate it if you could give me some insights. Thanks in advance.
Let’s start with the first sentence where you are stating that this has been an on/off relationship. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of details from you regarding him being faithful, or unfaithful, etc., so I will give you my insight based on what I am hearing and feeling from your words.
Well, girl, one thing comes to my mind right away: “Your lips are moving and all I hear is blah, blah, blah!” What I am trying to say is that you have been telling me a lot about his words, and from what it appears, there really haven’t been too many actions to back up said words. Do his actions match his words? If not, Psychic Rianne ext. 9423 can direct you towards someone better!
In all aspects of our life we measure our success and performance, as well as other people’s success and performance, on their actions. For example, when managing an employee, do you think making constant excuses means they would keep their job or help them advance? Probably not!
From what I am seeing, he is simply not ready for that next step. There are two ways to look at this. If he is treating you well in all other parts of the relationship and if you trust him, well, then stop nagging him until he is ready for that step. Constantly asking, demanding or even giving ultimatums are not going to change his mind, but more than likely they will push him away. Are you pushing him away? Psychic Karmystic ext. 9457 has a better way to communicate your desires.
On the other hand, if he has given you reasonable doubt, i.e. cheating on you, lying, not treating you well, etc., then it is time to see his elusive avoidance for what it really is—namely no intention of changing anything. Instead, he could be trying to keep you for as long as possible, before he finds what he truly wants.
The key is not in what he says, but in how he treats you, consistently! Only you can be the judge of that. If he is a good guy and treats you well, then don’t focus on what he is supposed to do, but on what you have together. If he has already committed with a ring, then why keep on him all the time for not haven gotten married.
Do you have a question for Carmen? Ask it here.