Speak Up: Take the Time to Heal

Should You Give Him His Space?

Estrella from Scotch Plains, New Jersey asks:

Can a man need his space to see what he wants after he has been through a bad marriage?

Carmen responds:

Dear Estrella,

The answer is definitely, YES! As a matter of fact, I’d be very concerned if he didn’t want his space, and instead, jumped straight into another relationship.

Most people need time to reflect and heal after they have been through a divorce. It’s not only normal, but also very healthy.

I’m sure you’ve been through breakups before. I know that whenever I got out of a relationship I needed my space for a while to figure out what went wrong, how I could prevent it from happening again, and what I really want out of a relationship and in life, period. Depending on the length of a relationship, this can take a little while, and it is not something you can force, push or speed up. The fact that he is taking his time to evaluate what he wants and is not immediately willing to jump into another relationship is normal. If he is recently divorced, I can almost guarantee that he doesn’t want to settle down right away again.

“You must first decide that you are worthy of love and that your value to be loved is not determined by someone else but yourself.” – William ext. 5131

It sounds like he is being honest with you and you’ll have to make up your mind regarding waiting for him (i.e., giving him the space he needs) or moving on.

“Real trust takes real time.” – Reed ext. 5105

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3 thoughts on “Speak Up: Take the Time to Heal

  1. Hexagone

    Hi Marky, came here to wish you a fantastic weneekd! have linked u in as well in my 3 blogs!! please check them out!!Thanks in advance for adding me back…Cheers

  2. jennifer

    I think its harder for a man to get over a break up I been with this guy for six years and he telling me he still don’t love me cause is heart was hurt so he still not over is child’s mother, so my advise never get involve. If a man been in a relationship just move on

  3. monae

    i agree u do need space and time i have 5 children and nor am i with their fathers anymore but we still are friends so to speak but it took time for us to reach that point of maturity and now i am married to someone who treats me like a queen but for about a year i just focused on me and my children noone else. i went to school to finish my bachelors degree. i spent time with my married and single girlfriends i loved me. u cant jump directly into another relationship trying to get over the pain of another. it only makes it worse. pray and enjoy life. we are only here for a minute.thanks be blessed


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