Should You Tell Them Everything?

“A statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?

It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will.” – Gautama Buddha

Some things don’t warrant words. If words are intended to hurt, it is probably time to hold back. However, if holding back is produced by fear of outcome, it is probably time to speak. It’s easy to justify “white lies.” But where do the lies slide into the grey area? And when do they become outright betrayal?

Sometimes the prospect of coming clean is intimidating: “Hey, I accidentally saw that you’re getting e-mails from your ex, and I’m feeling intimidated,” may feel petty, or even paranoid, to mention.

“Hey, I’m getting e-mails from my ex, and even though I totally love you, I’m feeling confused in my heart about loving you and still loving him,” may feel scary to share.

“Hey, I’ve been talking with this guy I know, and I’m finding myself really attracted to him,” may feel like dynamite in your hand.

But better a controlled detonation then an out-of-control time bomb. In the words of the writer Robert Louis Stevenson, “The cruelest lies are often told in silence.” As a general rule of thumb; if you wonder if you should tell him what’s weighing on your mind or heart, you probably should.

Using the precepts offered by the Buddha – timing, truth, kindness, benefit, and goodwill – you will find the way to speak compassionately, and share the truth of your heart and soul with pure intention.

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2 thoughts on “Should You Tell Them Everything?

  1. monae rucker

    yes i believe there is a time and place for the heart to speak but when someone has fallen out of love with you, you are justified in feeling betrayed. is that a white lie too, just to keep that person content? or is it better to keep the peace than to let that person move on with there life. heartbreak will kill someone and the moment that person knows or feels you are not being real, you lose that person as a friend. yes u should tell everything, just not all at one time.

  2. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    The last sentence is the most important in this article…..which is timing !!!!
    Timing is everything !!!!!!!!!!!!! , as in comedy, and as in life.

    The time to speak what is weighing on your mind is not when your partner is frustrated or is having a bad day or struggling to get thru a bad experience……

    ….and , especially, do not ever use ” the truth ” as a weapon to hurt the other person during an arguement.

    For example, if your man fails to achieve an erection during intercourse and you are feeling unloved and frustrated,or not appreciated,… that is NOT the time to tell him you are attracted to another man. Because in that PARTICULAR moment, he is liable to call your bluff and apt to tell you to go for it ,…if that’s what you want and need !

    There is a time and a place to have these honest , heartfelt conversations……exercise good judgement on the timing of those moments.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500


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