Save Your Sanity, End Your Relationship
It happens to the best of us. Many of us have been in what we thought was a healthy relationship, only to watch it begin to fade like the cold chill of winter. We all have memories of how we felt when we realized it was pretty much over. We try to be strong. We may say, “I’ll be okay, I think. How will I explain this to friends and family?” Then perhaps you experience an utter sense of loss and confusion.
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The Dear John Bomb
Why is this happening? Why is this happening again? Before you lose your sanity, get to a sacred space. It could be in your car after the conversation with your partner where you were informed that it’s over. It could be in your kitchen after an unexpected phone call that dropped the “Dear John Bomb.” Maybe it’s at a park having a picnic just for two. But wherever you get the news, STOP for a minute and clear your head as best you can.
You Will Get Through This
Close your eyes and breathe. No doubt your heart will be racing like a race horse and your mind running at warp speed. These crucial moments will pass. And most of all you will go on to love again! The most important thing is to remember you will get through this! You will! There’s nothing worse than a one-sided love affair. If you have experienced being in love and your affections were not being returned, you probably know what I mean.
So how do you begin to pick up the pieces and reconstitute yourself? It’s not going to be easy and you will have to keep in mind that happiness will one day be yours. It is advisable to take a good look at what has happened as objectively as possible. Yes, there will be a certain amount of sadness and heart ache.
But this will not last forever. These painful memories will fade as days become weeks and weeks become months and so on. Never allow yourself to believe that you’ll never love again. Pain is like a voice that becomes less and less audible as you move further and further away from it.
Here are a few techniques to begin the healing process:
Go to a quiet place and turn off the television or anything that may distract you. Sit or lay down comfortably. Image yourself saying to your lost love all the things you’d like to have said to them. Remember, this is an exercise in connecting with your frustration.
Look at the phases of the relationship. Allow yourself to experience the emotions you felt as your time together began, developed and eventually faded to the end. Try not to dwell on any particular incident. It is very important to move through this process at a steady pace.
Though it may seem impossible to release right now, you can do this. By the time you’ve gotten through the previous steps you are ready to let them go. Releasing means allowing yourself to become free of the conditions of grief caused by a feeling of loss. By this time you’ll still have moments of sadness, or depression and anxiety. This doesn’t mean you’ve missed the point. It means you’re human.
Here’s an exercise to begin the releasing process:
If you start to descend into sadness, find something to fill your time. The enemy of healing is time with nothing to fill it. This is stagnation, and this is dangerous. You’ve probably heard stories about how someone began weight training, got their degree, began a business or completely transformed their appearance after a life-shattering experience. You too can begin transforming yourself if you choose to cultivate a positive method of releasing.
One glorious day you’ll have the opportunity to face a situation that would have unsettled you. It could be seeing your lost love with their new partner, or you may hear you and your old lover’s favorite song. But instead of an emotional collapse, you feel oddly nostalgic in a pleasant way. You’ll smile to yourself or perhaps share the memory with a friend, or your new love.
Psychic Tajah ext. 5732