There Are Some Friends You Just Shouldn’t Listen To
Some of the worst dating advice can come from the most well-intentioned people. Married, single, or divorced, everyone’s got an opinion and they’re dying to share it, whether you’ve asked for it or not.
If all the people who offered you dating advice were legitimate in their suggestions, serious advice columnists all over the world would be no more of a celebrity than a dog who has taught himself how to pee on a tree, and compatible men and women all over the world would be dateless. If your advisors are scorned lovers, people who can’t make commitments, serial daters or someone who hasn’t dated since Nixon was president, you should probably just thank them for the advice and quickly forget it.
Here are some gems of wisdom we’ve probably all received at one time or another:
1. “Wear something hot!”
If you dress too “hot” they may get the wrong impression. He’ll imagine that your entire dating wardrobe consists of four-inch skirts and five-inch heels. Nothing says bend me over and spank me like a four-inch skirt. If that’s not the impression you’re going for, try something classic, like jeans and a nice shirt.
2. “Girlfriend, order something expensive!”
If you’re a vegetarian or an otherwise light eater, why order something you never normally eat, like filet mignon? You’ll look like Wilma Flintstone tackling a brontosaurus burger with a butter knife, not to mention you’ll probably get sick. Just remember all the trouble you went through to look nice on your date, and that no makeup covers a green face. Eat something normal and not so expensive.
3. “Just be yourself.”
What a load of crap. What they really mean is, be someone you think the guy will like. If “just being” was all that was required of dating, most single men would be home on the couch with girly magazines and a blowup buddy. And if you’re the type of girl who normally curses like a sailor, you may not make it to date number two. Everyone puts on their best face while dating.
“Whether you want a job, a house, a friend, a mate, lead with your strengths.” – Psychic Reed ext. 5105
4. “Let the man lead the conversation.”
Okay, Mrs. Cleaver. So when he’s spouting off about monster truck races and loving the smell of gasoline and burnt rubber, you’re supposed to smile? Unless you’re Danica Patrick, don’t encourage it. Bring up another topic you can agree on.
5. “Don’t be available when he calls.”
If everyone was unavailable, no one would ever get past the first date. If he gets last-minute tickets to a Lakers game and you’re free, by all means say yes. You don’t want to be so readily available all of the time, but you also don’t want to be pegged as someone who can’t be spontaneous.
“Keep your partner happy by being happy yourself.” – Blythe ext. 5339
6. “Check out his shoe size.”
A girl who checks a man’s shoe size isn’t a girl who’s really looking for a second date, just a happy ending. Even a guy who isn’t packing may have skills you’d like to know better down the line. Don’t be so small-minded.
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