How Do You Define “Happy”?
Relationships are my “thing.” My highest accuracy ratings as a psychic and as a healer have always come from my relationship readings. From my empathic lineage to my training as a hypnotherapist, it seems my life’s study is around relationships. I enjoy this work, and I’m good at it, which is why I have witnessed some pretty awesome relationships on my journey. Here are some points that may surprise you:
• Many couples that stay together the longest have spent, at one time or another, 3 to 6 months or more “broken up” or separated.
• Many long-term relationships start as friendships and suddenly shift to loving relationships.
• A study was done years ago that suggested that in the majority of long-term marriages, either the husband of wife was in a relationship with someone else when they met their current spouse.
So how do these happy couples make their relationships work year after year? The practice these simple and humble behaviors which are not always easy to do at first (ego doesn’t like them):
1. Be willing to walk the valleys of doubt together that exist between the mountains of confidence in your relationship.
2. Be willing to compromise.
3. Be willing to not always feel “in love” with your partner.
4. Be willing to talk about things, especially if they are uncomfortable.
5. Be willing to look in the mirror and see where you could have handled things better, and admit it to your loved one.
6. Be willing to be the first to say you’re sorry, no matter how many times you do. (Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?)
Ego, defense mechanisms and denial make us petty. We need someone to be at fault—someone to point the finger at—and that person “can’t” be us. This is how we sabotage relationships.
We are often responsible for our own loneliness.
When your partner upsets you, take some time to cool off before approaching them. And when you do approach them, don’t do it because you want to “win” the argument. Remember to: Stop. Breathe. Ground. Center. Don’t let resentment stay between you. Talk it out, hug it out and don’t go to bed angry. If you are both busy people, make sure you make the time to work on the issue.
Above all, you need to respect the person you are with. If you don’t, it’s time to review the entire union and see if the time has come to go your separate ways. Staying in a negative and disrespectful relationship doesn’t do anyone any good (especially if you have children together).