Men and Women Get Jealous in Different Ways

Men Concerned About Sex, Women About Emotions

A recent study suggests that men and women experience and express jealousy in radically different ways. While this may seem intuitive, it comes as new study data. In brief, men are more freaked out about women sleeping with other people, while women are more freaked out about men experiencing emotional intimacy with other people.

MSNBC Reports:

Romantic jealousy seems to have a gender divide when it comes to cheating: Men typically ask more questions about the sexual aspects of an affair while women inquire more about emotional infidelity, a new study finds.

The study, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, used a modern-day phenomenon—the reality TV show “Cheaters”—to explore an age-old issue: jealousy-fueled interrogations of infidelity.

Student coders viewed 102 cases of “love triangle” confrontations between the cheater, the victim, and the person they were fooling around with. They analyzed whether a victim’s comments to the two-timer represented sexual jealousy (Was she/he better in bed than me? How many times did you have sex with her/him?) or emotional jealousy (Do you love him/her? Who do you love more?).

The research found that when men were the victims of infidelity, 57 percent of the questions to the cheating partner focused on the sexual aspects of the affair. Women, by contrast, only asked about the intimate details 29 percent of the time. And when the ladies were the victims, 71 percent of their questions centered on the emotional side of their mate’s fling, versus 43 percent of men’s inquiries.

“Relative to women, men are more distressed by sexual infidelity, and women are more upset over emotional infidelity, relative to men,” says study author Barry X. Kuhle, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Scranton in Scranton, Penn.

What do you think—is there truth to the study?

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4 thoughts on “Men and Women Get Jealous in Different Ways

  1. JoniLou

    There is most definately truth to this study. I personally have been in a relationship for the past 10 years, and we have had our share of ups and downs. When infidelity or “flirting” has been the topic of the argument my man will ask me a hundred questions about where I’v been, if i’m cheating, and if so, how was the sex? Better than ours? However, when the tables are turned and he’s in the hot seat, my fears and questions are definately more focused on the emotional aspect, like whether he has found a new female best friend thats threatening to replace me. Not so much sex, because to me it is so much more painful to see him showing too much non-sexual interest in other women (plus I feel she will try and steal him from me). I can understand if he’s just physically attracted to other women, thats natural. But giving another woman the same type of non sexual love (nicknames, smiles, teasing etc the way he looks at her breaks me more than anything. That sort of love is supposed to be completely reserved for me. That’s something he CAN control, unlike the sexual attraction he may have to others, because thats a natural thing that men and women both do. (not sex, but attraction) You may not be able to control that, but you can certainly control how you treat your partner.

  2. Reed x 5105psychicreed5105

    I agree with the study. It is a reflection of what men and women value in relationships. I’m generalizing here, but for the most part, women want to feel adored, loved, and special. Men want to feel competent, and respected for their abilities.
    It only stands to reason that women would concern themselves more with emotion and men would concern themselves more with physical action.

    Reed 5105

  3. Sandra

    Everyone is different, especially when it does come to “men” and “women.” I certainly appreciate statistics and studies..and I have to agree on these studies because I have literally lived it all myself. I recently got divorced and yet my ex and I maintain a close relationship over the phone-he is in a relationship now with a new baby..I on the other hand have not even dated. We have realized we only needed time apart and that We made a serious mistake and we both still love one another deeply. He is very unhappy currently and all he has worried about is “have you been with anyone else?” Im the opposite. Because I feel we tried everything to have a child (very emotional situation for 2 people) and we couldnt, yet someone else did with him and that just kills me inside. Im NOT worried about the “SEX” part of his relationship, it truly is the emotional part. We all have the tools to perform the sexual side of things, its a very bonding thing listening and talking to someone on a one on one level and it is a trust level. When you look at the emotional issue of a child, he doesn’t feel bonded in this relationship(maybe partly because it was unplanned)Yet, as a woman, I know she has to be feeling emotional tied to him and has no idea of things. I feel for her, yet I know as he does, people can’t stay together for a child. He has only worried if I’ve had sex with someone, he hasn’t worried about a relationship….Therefore, I would agree as a woman, that I am more bothered by emotional infidelity, and my ex being a man, is worried about any sexual infidelity. I hope I made sense, because this segment on “men and women” is very on que… Sandra in MO

  4. Lynn Rose

    One more study of numbers and cold facts. That proves again, ” women are sexual beings. How do you explain that when asked, ” Why did you break up with me /him? ” How many times have you heard the response, “My gut feeling tells me…………………….” Or, Men need sex to feel loved, while women need to feel loved to feel good enough to have sex.

    “IT’S A “KARMA” THANG! Or, is it? Wars, suicides, lives just thrrown away and families ruined and torn apart. Because there’s an emotional answer here to be answered. And worst!!!
    It’s not being asked by the one who needs it badly. It’s being pawed over by the one who is the most emotionally “out to lunch”. Most of the time the women are saying, Oh! gee let’s see. I know he loves me, but does he love me more than “I think” I love him?

    Emotions! Lord, I don’t want to sound negative, but could you give the “women vs. emotions”
    thing just one more quick look. And see if it just might need a bit of “tweeking” here and there.



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