“We Need to Talk”
For many women in heterosexual relationships, there comes a point in the relationship when they need some reassurance about how their man is feeling and the direction in which the relationship is headed.
Women are often more communicative than men, so it’s natural for them to want to sit down and talk about the future of a relationship. When this desire hits you, here are two bits of advice for you:
Number One: Stop.
Number Two: Don’t do it. Take a bubble bath, take an aspirin, take a margarita. Take something and go lay down until the urge passes.
If you ignore my advice and plunge into the talk, at least don’t start it with “we need to talk.”
Oh, that phrase, that dismal phrase! Nothing good ever follows that phrase. Most guys would rather take a roofing nail through the head than to hear that phrase. Here are the things that often follow “we need to talk,” listed in order of severity:
…the insurance isn’t going to cover it.
…you’ve got cancer.
…I’m leaving you.
…I’m pregnant. (Said by his girlfriend.)
…I’m pregnant. (Said by his girlfriend to his wife.)
…I’m pregnant. (Said by his daughter.)
Nothing but bad news can possibly follow “we need to talk.”
Never start any conversation this way unless you really are trying to scare someone beyond all reason. A man who can wrestle alligators, go off to war, and lift 372 pounds with one finger will mentally curl up into the fetal position (if he has any sense) upon hearing “we need to talk.”
Don’t start with “we need to talk.” Better yet, just don’t start at all. Why not have some sort of a talk? Why shouldn’t you ask a man where the relationship is heading? For starters, men don’t know where they’re headed, and unless his testosterone is dangerously low, he won’t even ask for directions. He won’t be able to find your mom’s house the first seven tries (if ever), he can’t find the shirt you pressed for him and left on the bed, he’s probably the one that left the remote in the kitchen during the last commercial break, and now you’re expecting him to have a master plan concerning your emotional future. Really?
The truth is that most men don’t sit around thinking about the future of their relationships. Men don’t think about feelings. Men experience relationships. They experience feelings. They experience life. They are playing it by ear and making it up as they go, not sitting around mapping it out. Your man probably hasn’t given much thought to the future of any relationship, including the one with you—but that isn’t because he doesn’t want one. It’s only because he’s a man, and men are in it for the experience of it all.
You could very well be in a relationship with a man who loves you dearly, wants you in his bed and in his life, and knows you’d make a great mom for his kids. You could very well be with a man who would take a bullet for you, give you a kidney, and trade his sports car in for an engagement ring—and still he won’t be able to describe to you his feelings about you or the future of your relationship.
In fact, if you have an option of either asking a man about the future of the relationship or asking him to put on a dress and roller skate—go for the dress and skates, you’ll have better luck and there will be less damage.
So what is a woman to do? Use this knowledge to your advantage. For a man, it’s all about how he feels when he is with you. Remember that he is not thinking, he is experiencing. A man needs to experience adventure. He needs to experience a challenge. He needs to experience respect. He needs to experience victory, and for a man that means that he needs to feel that he has cleverly earned your attention and affection through the masterful use of his masculine charm.
You will need to consider yourself a real prize, so that he will, too—there has to be something worth winning. You need to show him your playful side. That way he is more comfortable taking a risk, knowing that you won’t call him a loser if his efforts to impress you end up falling short. You need to let him go through the motions of trying to impress you, even if you feel he doesn’t need to do so on your account. He needs to do this in order to feel the experience that will bind him to you for the long run. Allow him this experience, and you won’t have to wonder how he feels about you. He’ll show it.
It’s all about the experience. If you need some more information about your specific man, then give a psychic a call. However, if after reading this, you are still thinking about asking him how he feels about the future of the relationship…
Well then, we need to talk…
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