Sex is fun for women. With the right partner, a good position that works for you, plenty of foreplay, and no expectations on either side, sex is playful and gives women strong rewards. Consider this – men get one orgasm at a time. With practice, women may well have more than one in a session. Here are ten things every woman must know to make the most of her sexuality at any age.
1. Most sexual response occurs in your head, not in bed. Women can’t endure a stressful day, multitask to exhaustion, whip up dinner, put kids to bed, then whip themselves into a sexual frenzy to satisfy some partner. You need sexy thoughts through the day. You need transition time, real life to passion. Encouragement and sweet preliminaries stoke the fires. Then watch out, babe.
2. You probably can’t climax instantly. Bravo if you can, but most of us build up. Women need clitoral stimulation to come. Differentiating between clitoral and vaginal orgasms is like saying a man can have an orgasm in his genitals or his left foot. Stimulus equals result, and female orgasm needs well-placed, lubricated, direct friction.
3. If you’ve never had an orgasm, you can learn. Your doctor can check out real health concerns – otherwise, read up, practice, and talk with women you trust. Learn that response, sister. It’s an awesome learning curve.
4. Men are from Earth, and so are women, but their sexual needs and responses are wildly different. Women link more emotion to sex than men. Women are sensual – sights, sounds, smells, touch, and taste are integral to getting turned on. Genital touch is important, but it isn’t everything. Slow that guy down and teach him to pleasure you.
5. There is no norm. Do whatever works for you and your partner – frequency, duration, style, and sensation. It’s a private thing. If you’re consenting adults practicing safe sex, you and your partner can decide what is normal and pleasurable.
6. You are 100% entitled to ask for what you want. Sometimes a partner can’t relax into certain kinds of play, but it’s about balance. No one knows your body like you do. Take a deep breath, remember that your mother can’t hear you, and whisper what you want into your partner’s ear. Often.
7. No is no. Period. If a partner says no to everything, perhaps counseling or even a new partner is the solution. But if your lover just can’t see nibbling your toes, play another way.
8. Kinky is in the eye of the beholder. Toys, enhancements, movies, books, talking dirty, or any other kind of safe experimentation between adults is normal. Ask your doctor if you don’t believe me.
9. You must learn to be your own best lover, emotionally and physically, before you’ll satisfy anyone else. Hand play – the big M, masturbation – is healthy and beneficial. It’s good practice. You should know what you body parts look like and feel like, and how and when they respond. Go find your erogenous zones.
10. Experimenting with a woman friend does not make you gay, bad, sinful or perverted. If it appeals to you and to her, it’s fair to consider.
Life is short, sex feels good, and studies show that people who stay sexually active live longer, better lives. Your body, like a fine musical instrument, can make beautiful music for you and your partner of choice. You owe it to yourself to learn to play it like a virtuoso.