The Zen Art of Holding On Without Clinging
Many times when people are in a stressful relationship, they text or e-mail until they get what I call a pink slip—those pink slips add up into a break-up slip. It becomes a unintentional mess. No animal or fish or human being likes to be bombarded, hunted with phone calls and texts and or e-mails full of questions of “are you coming back?”
How to let go: understand “No one owns anyone.” Let go, be the person he or she first met, that confident, happy, zany person he or she was wanting. There was a connection at first—through insecurity or whatever went sideways—the relationship can be healed if you’re willing to let go of him or her—not call them, e-mail them and or text them 10-20 times a day frantically. Keep the mind and soul and body healthy—keep busy.
If she or he is interested, they will come back. We cannot force love on anyone and by being fearful and doubtful or full of paranoia it will turn your man or woman off in a flash. Be willing to lose everything to gain everything back that you once had-and keep out of your own way. Trees in the forest do not need water-and if you water a plant too much it dies—same thing with humans—when we over do it-love can die.
1. Fear is torture—stay busy and when you are worried say these three words when you want to call him or her: “Cancel, Cancel, Cancel.”
2. Meditate. Read, for example, “The Power of Now”—do affirmations, get out, take walks, join a group, call the psychic line, golf, network.
3. Don’t blame him/her, yell, scream. Listen to each other when he or she starts calling again.
4. True love finds its way back to you if it is meant to be—when you don’t know what to do—do nothing!