Hang On to a Hero
Getting a man, so to speak, is easy. How to get a “good” man is a bit trickier. For women in today’s dating scene (or the wannabes), finding a good man can seem darn near impossible. But this is where some necessary criteria come into play…
1. You will not meet any man of any sort if you don’t get out! Studies show couples are more likely to connect – and stay connected – when they enjoy similar interests and hobbies. This means that for those in the dating pool, doing what you enjoy first is a must.
2. Being realistic and knowing who you are, what you like and what you don’t has to come before choosing the kind of guy you want to share time, space and air with. If you have few career goals or future aspirations, it’s unlikely you’re going to meet a millionaire that wants to sweep you off your feet. Or, on the personal level, if you’re by nature a messy person, you may have conflicts later if you connect with a Type A kind of guy. Family dynamics now and in the future are also important components to consider.
3. Know that “playing hard to get” is a coy maneuver from the past. Men today enjoy women that take more of an assertive (not aggressive) role in the courtship process. Don’t be afraid to make eye contact, smile or speak to a guy you find interesting or attractive. Patience is also key here as it make take more than a few words for you to expect a phone call, text or date in the near future.
Okay, so let’s say you overcome hurdles 1-3. Keeping a man can bit a bit harder than initially snagging one. Here are a few things to consider:
• Women often change their personalities and behaviors once they get beyond the first few dates. Being insecure or afraid can chase a man away faster than a dog chases a mail carrier. Constant phone calls or serial texts and the dreaded twenty questions routine is more likely than not to leave you hanging.
• When he met you, you had a life (or seemed to, at least). If he sees you shift from a fun loving, well-balanced woman into Holly Homemaker within the first few months, he may start seeing visions of diapers and hearing screaming children way before he’s ready to cross that bridge. And he may high tail it outta there.
• If when he met you he believed you were independent, self sufficient and responsible, he may not respond well to you wanting to borrow money, bringing a suitcase instead of an overnight bag or you quitting your job with no backup plan. Men are okay with taking care of their women for the most part, but only after they’ve put a ring on it.
• Lying, cheating and texting an ex are absolute no-nos, and if you are busted early on (and even sometimes later), most guys won’t stick around for more no matter how sorry you are.
Each point here is a biggie, and has been validated not just through the experience of those treading (and drowning) in the dating pool, they are also backed up by relationship studies based in psychology and human behavior. The bottom line is, if he sticks around it’s because he liked the person you were when he met you and vice versa. Too often in relationships we either change ourselves, or try to change our partner, which is a cocktail for a dating disaster. For many more tips and advice on this topic and more, check out the CP blog, which you can access anytime from the present as well as through all the archives.
And please keep in mind, not all the good ones are taken, and if you’re prone to believing that, you will never find and keep one. Manifesting and affirming are two things you should never leave home without. Oh, and don’t forget your smile!
Are there any tips not covered here you feel are absolutes in not just getting, but keeping a man?