Make Sure You’re Hearing the Truth
You’re washing clothes and to your surprise, there’s lipstick on his collar. It’s not your color. You ask him about it. He says, “One of the secretaries at work tripped over a cable and fell on me.” Is it the truth or a lie?
You notice an odd smell on his clothes, sort of like cigarettes and cheap perfume. You don’t smoke and you’d never wear perfume like that. You ask him about it. He says, “I had to visit one of our top accounts at his hotel. He was a heavy smoker and wore terrible cologne.” Is it the truth or a lie?
Wouldn’t it be great if you had a lie detector? You could hook him up to all those wires and find out if he’s telling the truth or if you’re wasting your time trying to have a monogamous relationship.
Luckily, you don’t have to buy an expensive machine, pay for expensive training, and hook him up to bizarre apparatus. You can tell if he’s lying by the whites of his lies… er… eyes.
Eye Accessing Cues
It turns out that when a person is thinking of something, it’s natural for their eyes to move in certain ways. This has nothing to do with culture, it has to do with the links between the brain and the eyes. What I’ll be describing is typical for observing someone who is right-handed. If he’s left-handed this is usually reversed.
Up and to the left: If he looks in this direction as you look at him face-to-face (it’s his right), it indicates that he is visually creating an image.
Up and to the right: This means he is remembering something visual.
So if he looks up and to the right (his left) while telling you his story, he is remembering something that happened. It’s the truth. If he looks up and to the left, he’s inventing something. He’s lying. Remember, if he’s left-handed this is probably reversed.
Horizontally to the left: If he looks in this direction as you look at him face-to-face (it’s his right), it indicates that he’s creating sounds or words.
Horizontally to the right: This means he is remembering something audible.
So if he claims that he was told he had to work late while his eyes move horizontally to the right (as you look at him), he’s remembering what was said. He’s probably telling the truth. If he looks horizontally to the left, he’s making it up. He’s lying.
Down and to the left: Looking here indicates inventing a feeling.
Down and to the right: This indicates that he is talking to himself.
Using Eye Accessing Cues to Detect Lies
• The descriptions above are from your point of view.
• The descriptions are for a right-handed person. If he’s left handed they are probably reversed.
• The eye motion may be slight or very rapid, so watch closely.
• Sometimes people don’t follow the norms and you have to calibrate their cues. Ask a question such as whether he remembers his last birthday party. If he’s right handed he should look up and to the right. If he looks up and to the left you’ll know that his cues are reversed. That does happen to some people so simply reverse all of the instructions above. Someone who is drunk or on drugs may not respond traditionally, either.
If you have any doubts as to his truthfulness, ask a specific question about it and observe his eyes. Is he remembering something or making it up? The eyes will tell you the truth.
Other Liar Give-Aways
There are other behaviors that are signs someone is lying:
Contractions: People who use contractions (can’t, won’t, etc.) are comfortable and not lying. Use of full expressions (cannot, will not, etc.) is a sign of discomfort and dishonesty.
Shielding: Liars will often shield themselves by holding something (a drink, a newspaper, a book) between you and them. They may just cross their arms.
Over explaining: Liars don’t know when they’ve convinced you, so their story may go on and with excessive details.
Pauses: A long pause before responding to a question implies they’re making something up.
Donald Michael Kraig graduated from UCLA with a degree in philosophy, and has become a certified hypnotherapist and Master NLP practitioner. His book, Modern Magick, is the most popular step-by-step course in real magick ever published.
28 thoughts on “How to Tell if He’s Lying”
guys who cheat try to avoid lying by just not going there in first place. Its called “leaving out portions of the event” guys will leave out who else was there too. yeah he went to the concert with rick and bill his friends for twenty years who both are married but he chose to with hold that he asked a woman from work and her best friend to come along when Roger and Mike two other friends in this group couldn’t make the concert. Its easy to take pics and just post pics of the guys. just have the woman friend take pics of entire group and just dude pics on dudes camera.
cell phone bills and GPS are good ways of getting some answers. your gut is your best source of truth. my favorite trick is the going out of town trick. and borrowing a friends car or renting a car to stake out your house/his work and him driving to his favorite sports bar and later leaving that bar. A good pair of binoculars is a must. even if you have to return them on Monday for your money back. a good wig helps too. if you have a trusted friend that you know wont be tipping your man off to what you’re doing that’s even better, better still if he doesn’t know her that way she can go into the bar and see what’s up.
if you get your answer after all this planning and work and don’t leave you’re stupid and deserve the heartache you get in that relationship. that’s not how relationships are to feel.
If his lips are moving he is lying! simple.
I look at the whole package, the eyes, facial expressions, voice level and speech patterns. Generally when I am being lied to the story I’m being told doesn’t wash, and there is a great deal of evasiveness and defensiveness with the whole package mentioned above. The whole bit ends up giving me a feeling in the gut that this is not the truth. When my gut says that I listen and listen hard. It tells me it is time to end the relationship. Ask for explanations is a waste of time, it means more lies plus getting ‘dumped’ on for not believing the lies.
my husband has cheated on me in the past, i want to know if he still cheating?u know what they say “once a cheater is always a cheater….
What if they are a slow thinker?
my husband is a selfish snake i need to know has he cheated on me in the past is he how and how many times please i need some ansewers but have no funds to find out he gives me next to nothing
would the above apply to a female as well?
liars 4 gold, I always say
What about putting on a different face, almost like cramping and blurting out one singular word answer as if defensive? Is that a lie?
i’ve tried this technique before but, he looked me dead in the eye when he was speaking. and i ended up still catching him in a lie. so, beware of “sheep in wolves clothing.” even the best liars have created a science in covering their butts, always do a follow up if your unsure.
I agree with the above information 100%. The common response I get is, ” I’m different and don’t act like everyone else.” This i’ve noticed is also a lie. What do I expect from a liar. Thanks for sharing this with others. A good thing to remember is when ever your in doubt, there is none.
I’ve heard these cues before. I’ve looked for them in specific important times in my life and they do work!! Also i found an old boyfriend would say, “in a sense” or “for all intents and purposes” everytime he lied to me. or exaggerated a statement to me. KNow the old saying keep your enemies close & your friends closer, it’s true. If you do, you’ll know them like you know yourself, & then it gets real hard to be played.
I was just wondering, what does it indicate if they look straight at you while they are answering? Is this a sign of truth, as well? I’ve always heard that people can’t look you straight in the eyes if they are lying. Is this true?
how can u tell if he is lying if he knows your watchinh his eyes and he just look u straight in the eyes
Hold on just one second! I understand the that brain eye coordination is not culturally dependent. I can accept the idea that’s it’s a neurological connection between the eyes and the brain. However the second section looking at body language I can tell you is very culture dependent. Although in american culture crossing ones arms is a signal of bracing oneself, or protection, in other cultures it’s actually a sign stating that one is paying attention enough to put away their hands. As for over explaining anyone who’s first language is not, in this case, english will over explain because they really don’t know when you’ve understood. As for the pause again I believe a little hasty in assuming it’s indicative of a lie. Certain people dues to, language barriers or other communicative challenges may need extra time to understand what’s being asked, especially if they sense answering incorrectly will lead to trouble. Which of course brings us full circle to the real matter at hand, TRUTH. When is it when is it not?
if his lips are moving he’s lying lol
Wow, I will sure practise some questions on my friends n i will be comfortable to tell a person if they are lying. Thanks, hey!
I have encountered a liar who will look me straight in the eye, staring, and lie. Most lies are over the phone, however, so reading the eyes is often not an option.
He just keep telling me he loves me and have another woman at his house
So my question is….Does this work on her too? Can I tell if she is lying by using the same technique?
i trust my other and i dont think he lies.about anything..if he does than he has to look himself in mirror….we all lie sometimes but if they big it is another story…i dont have to eyes to tell ..i can put 2 and 2 toghther and get answer…i sometimes read the newpaper and there all lies in there..i dont believe aNYTHING THAT SAY IN NEWSPAPER..lies lies lies in the newspaper…i reather read a good book that the author wrote that is fake…i look at t.v. all you see sex..but i just it put it a side…the nespaper has garbage it read it for fun…i like the funnies now that is something i enjoy..i walk one day in a parade and they takeing pictures.of me…and they put it in the newspaper..i read books and try to get to the newspaper as much i can…
Your article about is he liar may not hold for many who have psychic gifts and many who have different types of training.
psychics and mediums often look to the left and down when accessing Spirit information, or have another favorite spot that has nothing to do with what this article relates.
Would hate to see a relationship be judged on the basis of these few bits of narrow information.
sorry, can’t agree with this one
i feel like if a man can’t look you in the face while yall talking to each other then he is lying or if you ask a man a question one week and then ask him that same question the next it will be something different or he keep changing up his story.
interesting will look out for it in my bf and “friends”
Simply superb.. it was really fun..i will check it.
I HAVE DEGREES IN PSYCHOLOGY AND SOCIOLOGY.
“ENVISIONING” IS IN THE RIGHT HEMISPHERE. THE INTELLECTUAL BRAIN.
“REMEMBERING” IS IN THE LEFT HEMISPHERE.THE MUNDANE OR MEMORY BRAIN.
I HAVE TALKED TO MANY PSYCHIATRISTS AND MENTIONED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES JUST BY WATCHING THE EYE MOVEMENTS I COULD DETERMINE THEIR IQ. MOST OF THEM AGREED.
I find human behaviour and body language fascinating l only have one comment to
regarding the use of contractions
the use of shortening words as apposed to some one who may be lying and trying to convince
there is the the argument that when some one is falsely accused they will explain simply because they want you to believe them
and long pauses can they not mean that some one can not belive what others are saying about them and trying to rationalise an answer
having said that fascinating