Make Sure You’re Hearing the Truth
You’re washing clothes and to your surprise, there’s lipstick on his collar. It’s not your color. You ask him about it. He says, “One of the secretaries at work tripped over a cable and fell on me.” Is it the truth or a lie?
You notice an odd smell on his clothes, sort of like cigarettes and cheap perfume. You don’t smoke and you’d never wear perfume like that. You ask him about it. He says, “I had to visit one of our top accounts at his hotel. He was a heavy smoker and wore terrible cologne.” Is it the truth or a lie?
Wouldn’t it be great if you had a lie detector? You could hook him up to all those wires and find out if he’s telling the truth or if you’re wasting your time trying to have a monogamous relationship.
Luckily, you don’t have to buy an expensive machine, pay for expensive training, and hook him up to bizarre apparatus. You can tell if he’s lying by the whites of his lies… er… eyes.
Eye Accessing Cues
It turns out that when a person is thinking of something, it’s natural for their eyes to move in certain ways. This has nothing to do with culture, it has to do with the links between the brain and the eyes. What I’ll be describing is typical for observing someone who is right-handed. If he’s left-handed this is usually reversed.
Up and to the left: If he looks in this direction as you look at him face-to-face (it’s his right), it indicates that he is visually creating an image.
Up and to the right: This means he is remembering something visual.
So if he looks up and to the right (his left) while telling you his story, he is remembering something that happened. It’s the truth. If he looks up and to the left, he’s inventing something. He’s lying. Remember, if he’s left-handed this is probably reversed.
Horizontally to the left: If he looks in this direction as you look at him face-to-face (it’s his right), it indicates that he’s creating sounds or words.
Horizontally to the right: This means he is remembering something audible.
So if he claims that he was told he had to work late while his eyes move horizontally to the right (as you look at him), he’s remembering what was said. He’s probably telling the truth. If he looks horizontally to the left, he’s making it up. He’s lying.
Down and to the left: Looking here indicates inventing a feeling.
Down and to the right: This indicates that he is talking to himself.
Using Eye Accessing Cues to Detect Lies
• The descriptions above are from your point of view.
• The descriptions are for a right-handed person. If he’s left handed they are probably reversed.
• The eye motion may be slight or very rapid, so watch closely.
• Sometimes people don’t follow the norms and you have to calibrate their cues. Ask a question such as whether he remembers his last birthday party. If he’s right handed he should look up and to the right. If he looks up and to the left you’ll know that his cues are reversed. That does happen to some people so simply reverse all of the instructions above. Someone who is drunk or on drugs may not respond traditionally, either.
If you have any doubts as to his truthfulness, ask a specific question about it and observe his eyes. Is he remembering something or making it up? The eyes will tell you the truth.
Other Liar Give-Aways
There are other behaviors that are signs someone is lying:
Contractions: People who use contractions (can’t, won’t, etc.) are comfortable and not lying. Use of full expressions (cannot, will not, etc.) is a sign of discomfort and dishonesty.
Shielding: Liars will often shield themselves by holding something (a drink, a newspaper, a book) between you and them. They may just cross their arms.
Over explaining: Liars don’t know when they’ve convinced you, so their story may go on and with excessive details.
Pauses: A long pause before responding to a question implies they’re making something up.
Donald Michael Kraig graduated from UCLA with a degree in philosophy, and has become a certified hypnotherapist and Master NLP practitioner. His book, Modern Magick, is the most popular step-by-step course in real magick ever published.