Rescuing that Damsel in Success
Men used to desire the “damsel in distress,” but now many of them want to win over the “damsel in success!” Since a modern woman can be committed to herself more than a romantic relationship, a man really has to put his best foot forward to stand a chance at winning over this independent woman. Here are five essential rules for men who want to date modern women:
1. Be an Active Planner. The modern woman has a tight schedule, so YOU need to be flexible and always communicate your plans clearly. Ask when she is available, schedule your dates, and then confirm your plans prior to each meeting. Of course, avoid showing up late or unannounced, and I advise you never try to “wing it.” Modern women expect, and greatly appreciate, a well-executed plan.
2. Be Visibly Responsible. The modern woman is extremely responsible and has many goals she intends to reach, so she probably will not desire a man who wants her to take care of him in the conventional sense. From the beginning of your relationship, show her that you are self-sufficient and have long-term potential. For example, mention your substantial retirement fund, discuss your home-buying priorities, or share your vacation travel plans. Show her that you have your life together and that you intend to accomplish your own goals in this lifetime, preferably with a reliable partner such as herself. This type of conversation will bring her closer to you when she discovers you have a similar drive and dedication to success.
“People we attract into our life are reflections of who we are, therefore become first what it is you want to attract.” – Rivers ext. 5273
3. Be Supportive to a Healthy Extent. The modern woman has many educational, career, and recreational goals, so make sure you help her reach these goals in some way. This does not mean you have to fund or participate in her activities; it means you should take interest in, listen to, and observe her various undertakings. Be her cheerleader! However, be careful that you are not so supportive that you interfere with her work or distract her from her personal missions in life.
4. Be Open-Minded About Family. Sometimes, the modern woman is not traditional because she may not desire marriage and/or children, at least anytime soon. You may need to be okay with the idea of spending a life with her without walking down the aisle or raising young ones anytime soon. The modern woman may even be a sort of black sheep in her family: many modern women rebel against what their families want them to do so they can pursue their dreams to the fullest extent. Don’t be surprised if family isn’t as important to her as higher education, work promotions, traveling the world, or perfecting her talents. However, if you support her in these other areas, you still have a chance at being quite important to her.
5. Be the Perfect Fit. Show her how nicely you fit into her life and that moving forward in a relationship with you will not hold her back. The modern woman focuses her attention on developing in her education, career, travel, hobbies, and more. Thus, you should experience, or want to experience, equally respectable life goals. In fact, her diligence may even inspire you to take on ambitions you never thought you would.
As a modern woman myself, I know that a man will not fit into my life unless he is communicative about our plans, responsible and diligent like me, supportive of my goals, willing to have kids when I am ready, and not intimidated by my overall togetherness. If you want to date a modern woman, you need to present yourself as a modern man. And a modern man is one that is not intimidated by a success-driven woman; instead, he is inspired by her and embraces the challenge to support his lovely powerhouse of a woman.
“Make a plan to find this person, brainstorm all the available options, and then decide what you will do each week to move toward the goal.” – Blythe ext. 5339
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15 thoughts on “How to Date the Modern Woman”
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Lee and Florence brilliant write up’s by you both in my opinion thanks for your wise words.
Well I must say its an interesting read. Here’s something to consider: I have yet to see a relationship involve two loving people that does not have some sort of sacrifice being placed on both sides of the relationship. And at the end of the day (as in almost every day), the couple is better on both sides for the advice being given, the support being traded, the shoulder to lean on, and a knowing that someone is there to share a life experience with. At the end of the day, both people will *want* to be flexible in their schedule to open their lives up to a person whom they love, or want to love, and a discerning that this man or woman is the one that they are looking for. I’m under the personal belief, imho, that you have to make space in your life for someone… not fit them in between yoga and tea with friends because you have 15 minutes to spare because its some sort of task. Lets say that you are looking for a man who is close to a 5 or 6 on the maculine feminine scale (i.e. closer to feminine than your average misogynist, and closer to masculine than your average misandrist), then by all means tout for an equality of time, space and economics, but remember to concentrate on the philandry and philogyny (the love of men for women, and vice versa). Life’s not about compromise, its about letting go of what you think is important, for the love of someone you know deep down you want in your life. The only pedestal you should have in your life, as defined as a foundation, should be the one that you stand on *with* someone, and realize that this foundation is made of a support of both people, and cannot stand the test of time without this realization.
I’m ranting due to procrastination, but one last wish: I wish everyone out there the love that has always been there. Just like the cliche saying, “when the student is ready, the teacher shall appear,” as in love, if you open your heart, and keep it that way, and settle down with a calm smile at your open door, waiting as patiently as the sea does at the door to the land, then if you are truly wishing for the one that you seek, perhaps, maybe, you can delicately and kindly send them warmth and understanding that says “I am ready.”
I agree with Freddie. It is all well and good to set up standards for a particular kind of attraction. However, if a person has to change their own mold to attract another, it won’t last for long or forever. The reality is, if a man should want this type of woman and isn’t
ready to be that type of man, perhaps he needs a reality check and know himself first and
stop dreamy about an out of reality click. The woman too, described in this artical, needs her own reality check if her interests are to someday be a couple. She also should have the flexibility to get off the production line & have the same considerations for her favorite
person. Both men and women can have the best of both worlds but that too takes attention and working at it. When a couple is a team each with their own interests, yet supportive and with respect for the others interests and goals a relationship can run on smooth sailing.
It wouldn’t hurt to have general goals with family and life-styles that are basically similar
wishes. IE; If one loves the winter and wants the artic yet the other wants to live on the
equator, differences here are too major. The 6 month, here and then there plan may not be ideal in the reality of it all. It’s okay to look for that ideal person but in reality wouldn’t it be easier to fine the one that mirrors you in major live values? This applies to both genders. Think about it!
Fantastic article!!!! Wise men please read, and then you will find success. There is nothing worse than a man who only thinks of his own schedule and then tries to include YOU at the last minute with very little notice or consideration that you may have a life and need time to plan and organise as well, let alone support. Men who are needy and want a woman to “stay at home in the kitchen without earning any of their own money” are an absolute turnoff. Men need to be aware and able to take responsibility for their feelings, desires, thoughts etc, to own them and communicate them…..it is the only way.
I agree with your page from a woman side of view. I think its true and I’m one kind of woman who falls in this. Awesome indeed!
I have to disagree with this article. Men are not intimidated by a woman’s success. They could care less about what career she has, what car she drives, what degrees she holds. They care about how she makes them feel when she’s with them. Women who state that men are intimidated by them say that as a consolation prize for getting rejected by a man. All the accoutrements a woman has is like being with another man to a man and it would be seen as competition, not as a relationship in which the woman is seen as feminine and to be cherished.
I see your point, but the woman you describe here comes across as a fierce (somewhat violent) female that has as a priority accomplishing career goals. Since when the sweetness and softness of the Divine Feminine has become so cold and ready to trample on all of her partner´s needs, just to go about doing what she wants ?.. There´s very superficial evidence in your text that she would actually work on a plan together with her mate.., as if it was HIM who has to accept her unconditionally, and not the viceversa involved. It seems to me that you, too, are a result of thousands of years of the Divine Feminity repression. Totally reasonable, only that.. by trying to cope better with life, you took on your masculine side, taking initiatives, working, doing (you get my point.. not feminine attributes). It´s such an irony that even though women try to get out of their shell of repression, they do not act as women, but as men, yelling with fury they´ve been kept all this time in ignorance, of their selves and of others, trying to shake off the shame with which they´ve lived up to that point. And even though genuine anger IS the first step to begin the transformation, in my opinion women exaggerated with it. So, they are acting more as men than as the tender, loving and accepting women they should be – more manly, even though they fight against the rigid ways of manlyhood. They become what they run away from, what they despise. So it seems that men win again. Hah !! they got us this time, too.
My overall point of view is : if you want a harmonious relationship, if you want to live well with who you are, BE who you are, respect your own gender (of course, develop attributes of the opposite one, too, but don´t overstress it to become your dominant side), show to the world the best you have.. and respect the other, completely and unconditionally. After all, the outer world is merely a reflection of your inner realm..
Bless ALL Females!
I agree, and disaagree. Alot of women, are looking for their Mr.right, and when she finally gets him she want to do whatever it takes to make herself happy.Man. should support their lady no matter what. It might get hard in a relationship,but what man really take the time out to see what makes a women happy.It’s usually his way or no way.This would be great to see a man do!
Don’t be overly or embarrassingly critical to him if for some reason he shouldn’t measure up to all your criteria of absolute relationship perfection !!!! Remember, we all come from different backgrounds…..
OH I just had to comment on this. This is priceless! This is what has been lacking as far as advise goes for women and that is why there are so many relationship problems. Women like myself don’t know how to ask or demand that men work with them. Without this my relationships have turned into out-of-my-control nitemares everytime because I assumed the decency of respect for my life as mentioned above in the article. No wonder I have felt that I no longer had the strength or energy or enthusiasm for relationships anymore…of course it is hard for me to find men who are like myself because I live in a northern city of 120,000 with way more men than women.
WHY DO YOU THINK SO MANY RELATIONSHIPS HAVE FALLEN APART AND DO FALL APART TODAY ITS THE FAIRYTALE LA LA LAND YOU A TRYING TO CREATE. AND THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING FOR YEARS PEOPLE HAVE TRIED TO DO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING AND THAT’S WHY HUMANS DON’T CONNECT AS GOOD AS THEY USED TO. TO MUCH EXPECTATION AND SELLING OF THE SOUL FOR ONE’S OWN WELL BEING YOU ARE TRYING TO CHANGE US INTO DISCONECTED SHAPE SHIFTING SHARMONS, HUMANS ARE CONFUSED ENOUGH WITHOUT SO CALLED HELP FROM IDIOT SELFISH CONTROL FREEKS LIKE YOU WRITER