If someone has your attention, can we say that is similar to attraction? What do most of us want to attract? Happiness. If he is happy, and happy with you — then he will be interested. You will have his attention.
So, the question is, how do you make him happy? Well you can’t. You can only make yourself happy. Now, put your lower lip back in and wait a minute. Here’s where we are going. If you are happy, he will be happy. I’m talking about the Law of Attraction — Yoga Sutra style.
The Yoga Sutras are an ancient text that teach non-attraction through meditation. There are four books. I believe the answer to keeping his attention is found in Book Two: “Aversion is that which follows identification with painful experiences.” Another translations says, “Aversion is that which we immediately seek to get away from.”
Before your head explodes, this means whatever causes us pain is what we run from. The source of our pain makes us angry. If someone is “causing us pain,” we run from them by yelling and nagging. Violent energy never brings peace or happiness.
Earlier, I asked you to define what “lack of attention means.” Grab a pen and make a list. Here’s what to ask yourself:
My Ideal Relationship:
Supportive of my career.
Ask about his. Listen. Ask questions and really listen.
Asks about me when he sees me.
Ask him at the end of the day how his day went, his best and worst highlights.
You want him to talk to you instead of watching TV.
Talk to him before you watch TV.
You want his full attention when you speak to him.
Never multitask when you are talking to him.
You need him to be more grateful for all you do for him.
Use your manners and say please and thank you always.
You would really like him to kiss you hello and good-bye.
Make it a point to kiss HIM hello and good-bye.
You need him to listen to your problems, and not try to fix them.
Just listen to him and let him find his own way out. No nagging.
You want to be treated sexy.
Stop acting like his mother. You know what I mean. The poor man can’t feel sexy about his mommy.
You want him to come to bed with you now, not two hours later.
Split the difference. Tell him you’re tired but want to hang with him for a while. Then go to bed. About a week later, ask him to come with you. No nagging. No yelling. No put downs. No “talks about us.”
I’m not suggesting a “Donna Reed” makeover. Just try to be what you want. This idea does NOT apply if there is abuse of any kind.
Just try this for 21 days. Unlike a tattoo, it’s not permanent. But let me know how it goes.
Ivy ext. 5198