Enlightening Answers: International Love and Getting a Divorce

Recently I started to chat with a guy online and we hit it off. He’s due to fly over and visit! (We live in different countries.) If we’re not online then we’re on the phone three to four times a day. He says that long distance relationships are hard… But we both agree as long as there’s commitment and trust then things might work. I’ve even called him various times to see if he’d be answering his phone and so far he has! What do you think?


Dear Cyber,

It’s a big world. I promise you there are men all around you in your neighborhood, city, state or province, let alone country that are dying to connect with a nice woman like yourself. Why must you import a man? Whenever I talk to women who can’t find a man in their own zip code I can’t help but wonder if they’re really ready for a relationship… That said, far be it from me to rain on anyone’s super romantic story. But, if you’re going to continue this then you must meet as soon as possible. It’s very dangerous to never lay eyes on a man but to communicate constantly in every other way (but the most important one! In person…) for a long time – too much fantasy and anticipation builds. And, even if you do meet, how will you sustain a relationship from different countries? Since you’re asking what I think, here’s what I think: if you’re serious about finding a relationship, I’d institute a 30 mile radius rule and really go for it locally – join groups, smile at men in the grocery store, ask everyone you know to set you up, etc. You’re signing up for a lot of pressure and huge phone bills doing it your way. And I hope you prove me wrong and go off into the sunset together (’cause it does happen).

Let us know!

I’m in the process of getting a divorce. I met a man before my divorce and I’m in love with him. His wife passed away three years ago. I love him so much. He seems like he cares about me. He likes to have sex with me but I don’t know what he really wants from me. I wish to know if he feels something for me. I want to be with him most of the time. I feel so happy with him. He looks happy too, but I don’t know what to think.

Sweet But Stressed

Dear Sweet,

Many women in new relationships are afraid to ask questions for fear they’ll scare the new man off. I don’t know the circumstances of your divorce, but I’m sure you’re vulnerable and hurt, no matter the details. So, I’d encourage you to ask some tough questions to be sure you don’t get hurt again. You won’t scare him away if he cares about you. It’s all in the way you ask… I’d tell him you’re really enjoying your time together and that you love spending time with him. I’d then ask him what his romantic goals are – does he ever want to remarry? Does he want a relationship? Does he want one with you? I’d ask him exactly what you just asked me – what do you mean to him and what does he want with you? If you don’t ask, he may never say, and this limbo love could go on indefinitely. You deserve to know, and it will show him that you’re honoring yourself and taking care of your heart – a very attractive thing for anyone to do. I hope you get the answers you wish for.

Good luck!

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