Hold Your Ground and Face Your Challenges
When the going gets tough in a relationship – and it always does – it’s tempting to want to run away. But somehow, the same problems often seem to follow us into the next relationship. That’s because in running away, we don’t take the opportunity to examine our own beliefs and behavioral patterns – and so we take them with us into the next relationship. (Obviously this doesn’t include abuse situations, which should be immediately left!)
WebMD examines the perils of cutting and running:
All close relationships include some kind of struggle or conflict at times. While it’s understandable to want to avoid or run away from these, doing so prolongs (and probably exacerbates) the problem – even if it only affects us in less than obvious ways. This is especially true when there is a pattern of problems (of them either occurring frequently or of recurring struggles with a particular topic). Instead of trying to escape the negative, you would do better to somehow improve your relationship, such as:
Resolve the problem: Of course, this is something we all wish to achieve – though doing the work to make it happen is not always on our agenda. If you really value your relationship, then think seriously about whether it’s worth trying to resolve the problem – and possibly better the relationship – at the risk of creating a greater rift.
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Prevent the problem: If you know that you have conflicts over particular issues or in certain circumstances, prepare ahead.
Do what you can to avoid them altogether. For instance, you might agree to meet a particular friend away from your boyfriend because he doesn’t get along with her. Of course, there are many issues that are best discussed and not avoided.
What do you think – is it better to stay in a tough relationship, or leave?
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