Dating over 35? You mean you’re not married? You find it hard to meet people – wow, I can’t believe it! Over the years, our priorities shift, careers expand, interests change… as does what we look for in a potential mate – and where we might look for them. You may feel like all the good ones are taken – but hey, you’re single. So you’ve just disproved your own theory! Yes it’s different, yes it’s scary. That’s okay. So let’s take a look at some dating strategies for 30-somethings.
In your 30s, you know how to make a list of qualities for your perfect partner (and even how to manifest them yourself) but you aren’t really expecting them to land right at your feet, are you? You’re more interested in quality (not quantity!) when it comes to dating, so why not multi-task by doing what you love to do, in the hope of meeting a wonderful someone with interests similar to your own? Most of all, have fun and don’t look for the one! Be happy to simply meet new people and have different experiences. If you’re enjoying yourself, others will take note of that. And it’s hot.
Sure, you can join a yoga class or a political interest group – because that’s what all the love coaches say to do – but what about this? – try imagining where you might run into the person you’d most like to attract. You might be more likely to meet them at a work conference, on a vacation, or at a workshop – from comedy writing to wine-tasting – where you are truly in your element.
Going out to try and meet someone over a beer or margarita is always an option, but as life gets busier and schedules become more hectic, you don’t have all day to nurse a hangover. So look for healthier options such as joining a running group or soccer team, or spending more time at the gym.
Man’s best friend
If you have a dog, start taking new walking routes. If you don’t have a dog, borrow one. You’ll meet plenty of people at dog parks and local walking spots. If the walking isn’t good in your neighborhood, load up the pooch and drive to another area with cool coffee houses. Pull up a seat outside, if it’s warm enough. You’ll be surprised how often a stranger will venture over to chat, whether it’s about your dog, your book or what it is you’re eating.
If you are a single parent, take your kids where other single parents might also be enriching the life of their children – such as museums, class trips or children’s theaters. Just be open, and remember that you’re not a kid anymore, so be bold. Don’t be afraid to simply ask any interesting prospects “how are you?”
There you are, sitting in front of the TV again – or searching online profiles (which is not to be discounted). Yet you could be mingling with real live adults, right now! It’s the weekend – take yourself (and a friend) to an opening, where mingling is always expected. Go out to see live music. It’ll get your blood pumping and your feet moving – and before you know it, you could be talking to another person whose feet are moving toward you! Or see a funny film. At least if you go home alone, you can laugh about it. The point is to get out, be seen and be active.
Gone are the days when you have to follow any other generation’s dating rules. In fact, you’re free to make your own rules! Treat dating as an adventure. And while you’re at it, make an effort to look your best – even if you’re just running out to the grocery store, or dropping your kids off at school. Remember, potential matches are everywhere!
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