6 Classic Jerk Types

Men to Avoid Like the Plague

He shows up anywhere and everywhere—at our jobs, on our dates, in our relationships, on the street and in the grocery store. Classically labeled as “The Jerk,” he can take many forms, and sometimes it takes us a little while to see him for what he really is. The good news is that we can take steps to armor ourselves against these bozos by taking a look at some typical jerk types to watch out for.

1. Two-Faced Jerk

This guy may speak the sweetest words to you, but what he’s telling his buddies, the neighbors, and your co-workers would expose him as Public Enemy No. 1 if you were to actually hear what he’s saying about you behind your back. You can often spot this guy by listening to how he speaks about other people when they’re not around—if he’s doing this to others, chances are he’s doing it to you.

2. The Egocentric Jerk

This one can’t wait to boast about his talents, achievements, and anything else that immediately concerns him. No matter where the conversation starts, he always manages to bring it back to himself, while any moments you’ve managed to get a word in yourself have been met with bored looks and distracted glances. This one’s easy to spot, ladies, and should have you running for the hills at the first sign.

3. The Controlling Jerk

He’s always got to put in his two cents, and bullies his way into getting what he wants. Even the seemingly insignificant details are like small hard-won victories for him, and he will fight you for them: where to eat, which freeway to take and so on. Instead of constantly locking horns with him or simply complying with his every whim, get out and find yourself someone who respects your needs as well as his own.

4. The Womanizing Jerk

Ah, the skirt-chaser. Some men make it their life’s work to collect and bed women, and sexual female attention is as important as breathing is to them. This speaks of a disrespect for all women and a lack of self-confidence that requires him to constantly validate his worth as a man. Don’t waste your time trying to be the one girl who’ll change him, either; leave that laborious burden to him while you move forward with positive and healthy male relationships.

“Attracting sex is simple.  The hard part is when someone believes that sex and love are the same or that one will naturally lead to the other.” – Reed ext. 5105

5. Ever-the-Critic Jerk

This guy is everlastingly critical, judging and antagonizing everyone he sees as inferior. As he uses his own skewed moral compass, he will always end up on top while you are left to repent and somehow trudge along with your inferior life. Drop this delusional character as fast as you can.

6. The Opportunist Jerk

This type of jerk has a recognizable parasitic quality to his approach. It’s always about what someone can do for him; he’ll sell out his mother if it’ll get him ahead somehow. Best to leave this one to his own eventual demise before you find yourself serving as just another one of his stepping stones.

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12 thoughts on “6 Classic Jerk Types


    what about the gamblers? Please tell me about the gamblers if they are also a womanizer/lover? Thank you so much.

  2. Stevie

    Wow my recent ex is 5 of the 6! He really pulled the hat over my eyes with that one but thank goodness I got out before it was too late. Everyone has thier flaws but I know what kind of guys ive had, you name it im sure we have all been with it unfortunately for us. The trick is whether or not you learned your lesson, are you going to keep going after the jerks you cry over and swear that you loved him but soon realize what he really was and swear not to date the type ever again? If you make that promise to yourself then keep it! You and only you know what kind of guy you want at your side and thats the type of guy that you desereve. Dont settle for less because you think its not out there because it is, however if you get impatient and begin looking…thats when you are so easily blinded because they can see what your looking for and they make you think thats exactly the type of person they are. Stand strong girls!

  3. mandi

    yep….my ex, which i finished with today, had two out of those six……….he was just about to sell out and leave his sick mother so he could move into my house!!…..no chance……im off on two weeks hols soon, much needed and deserved…….he can go and be a parasite somewhere else!! …lol

  4. Debster

    Gaah! My ex was five out of six of those! I’m now healing, figuring out how to turn my radar back on and align it lest I come across another one. Whew, that was a close one.

  5. Tina

    Every single one of these 6 categories pertains to the jerk I just got rid of…after 10 years! Wish I would have known what was down the road.

  6. Maureen Shepherd

    sometimes its hard to see these morons for what they are , one you missed is the guy who looks for vulnerability to cash in on , i had one he would say lovely things ,dance up close , etc., my mr perfect ???????????????? . what i had was a “friend with benefits ” , i thaught i was in love till i dumped him , I DUMPED HIM , the self worth i got from doing that was fabulous , this man , waited till i was broken up about my guy getting ill ,then he pounced .

  7. Karel

    I had to laugh … How about the jerk who wants to banter & make jokes perhaps about painful areas or challenging times in your life. But even the least referral to his, and he’s whining like a chick. AKA: The “can dish it out, but can’t take it”. Hello, if you’re gonna go there, you’d better be able to take it … Or duhhhh, don’t go there if you’re that insecure! Grow up & stop being so superficial & delusional. Buy a mirror to take a real good deep look at yourself. This isn’t so you can admire your looks … Because when your ugly on the inside, you become very ugly & unattractive on the outside. Yuck you JERKS! Ah & your so misunderstood, sorry but no, it couldn’t be clearer. There are so many great MEN out there ladies, don’t waste any time on crumbs.


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