I recently had the privilege to speak with Charles Orlando, the author of the book The Problem With Women… is Men. After years spent playing the field as a “ladies’ man,” Orlando had a sudden awakening, realizing that his womanizing behavior was much less evolved than where he wanted to be. He set out on a quest to improve himself and become a better man, and in the process came to realize that we live in a society in which men are allowed to stay childish and even destructive in their relationships with women, and that men have a long, long way to go in growing up and becoming truly evolved. The story of his own personal journey, as well as interviews with over 1,600 men and women on the topic of men’s behavior and maturation processes, formed the basis for The Problem With Women… is Men: The Evolution of a Man’s Man to a Man of Higher Consciousness, an at-times humorous, helpful, and sobering guide to the current front lines of the War of the Sexes – it’s been called “The handbook husbands should come with!”
Now a husband, father, and women’s empowerment advocate, Orlando is a regular guest on many television and radio talk shows across the country.
I sat down to speak with Charles Orlando about his views – an interview that I will be covering and providing highlights from over the next few weeks. To start with, we delved into exactly what Orlando’s view of what an “evolved man” should be actually is:
“It’s more than just a manicure and some Marc Jacobs shoes… the truth of it is that men suffer from a variety of flaws based on primal instincts to sire children and perpetuate their bloodline. But if this is, in fact, civilization, then we need to evolve past what those flaws are. Up until about 1940, women definitely had ‘their place,’ and then World War II came about and women were thrust into an equal status with men. Then men came back from war, and wanted to put them back in the kitchen, so to speak. And that’s not what women are willing to deal with anymore. So now, 60 to 70 years later, women have evolved past what their counterparts were back in the early 1900s – and long, long before – but men haven’t really caught up. They’re trying to maintain the same levels of control and dominance; they’re trying to build their own harems, so to speak, and that’s evident in all the men who are getting caught in these infidelity scandals. They’re trying to keep the same lack of behavioral etiquette, and they’re not investing emotionally in their relationships. You put those things together, and you have a setup for failure. You have women who want more from men, and you have men who aren’t used to providing that.
“So what is an evolved man? An evolved man is someone who can address all those flaws, recognize that men are inherently flawed… so I’ve come up with some broad suggestions that address a multitude of men – not all – but enough to where I was able to establish a trendline. It’s those men that I’m hoping will read the book.”
Men might be slow to come around – but how are women responding to the book?
“The women who are reading the book, which is really where it’s been most accepted, are really interested in understanding what their contributions are to these failed relationships – and I’ve been motivated to tell women that it’s not their job to change a men. Men have to change on their own, just like women have to change on their own. So if they can identify which of those men are serious about them, which are on this path of evolution, they won’t have as many failed relationships, and they won’t have to sacrifice their self-esteem or their individuality in order to placate the man in their life to make the relationship.”
And what would a better world look like?
“[One] where women don’t have their proverbial place in relationships and in the world,” Charles explains. “Where everything is based on skill set. Where the glass ceiling does not exist. Where women are valued for valid opinions, intelligence, and smarts – and not looked at like a walking vagina.”
We’ll be including more from our interview with Charles soon, as we continue to look at how men and women’s behavior has changed in the last several decades, and how it can continue to evolve. (Charles recently posted one of our articles to his Facebook – Should We Let Men Cheat? – stirring up a storm of controversy with over 88 comments, most of which consisting of Charles’ fans saying “NOT A CHANCE!”)