Are You the One for Him, or the One for Today?
Perhaps you don’t mind being someone’s fling, but it’s good to know how to tell that you are a fling. Most serial-dating guys are not ashamed of their approach to dating, and will use language to clue you in to the fact that they’re only seeking a quick thrill. Here are five signs that will indicate you’re just a fling.
1. He Tells You: Most serial-dating guys are not ashamed of their commitment-free approach to dating, and will use certain language to clue you in to the fact that they’re only seeking a quick thrill. Phrases like “I’m really not looking for anything serious right now,” or “I just got out of a bad relationship” are clear cues that he’s not going to be around for long.
2. He Doesn’t Call, He Doesn’t Write: This one’s a no-brainer. If he doesn’t call or text you within two days of your last date, it’s over. He didn’t lose your number, or his cell phone, and he hasn’t been kidnapped by pirates, secretly longing to return to your arms once he makes his escape. Try texting him once in a nonchalant way, and if he doesn’t answer, or brushes you off, let him go. Get personalized advice from a psychic!
3. The Man’s Only Interested in One Thing: If your new guy spends more time looking at your curves than into your eyes, or dismisses meaningful activities (like conversation, hand-holding, adventures, or meeting his friends), instead, favoring simple, physical encounters, chances are you’re just a plaything and will never be part of his inner circle, let alone the light of his life.
“You don’t have to understand sex to enjoy it.” – Kelli ext. 5130
4. Ugly Tan Lines: If he seems too good to be true, he just may be… married. Check the ring finger on his left hand for that tell-tale pale depression where a wedding ring would usually sit. If he’s got the mark, he’s either forgotten the meaning of “till death do us part,” or he’s freshly divorced. Either way, it’s probably an uncomfortable situation for you. If he claims he’s divorced, let him know that you’ve been hurt before and politely suggest that showing you his paperwork would go a long way towards establishing trust. Other signs of the married man may include nervousness while out in public, apprehension about telling you basic things like where he works, where he lives, his real name, etc.
5. The Wandering Eye: If a guy is really into you, he doesn’t ogle other women. No, actually, all men ogle other women, but if a guy is really into you, he doesn’t get caught doing it. Sneaking a peak is a skill men usually learn around the time they get caught leering while in the company of their first girlfriend. So if you see them gawking, it usually means that on some level, they’re unhappy or dissatisfied. If your relationship has just started, get out while the getting’s good. If your relationship is long-established, it may be time to research “male mid-life crisis,” address the problem, think about renewal, spicing things up, or kicking him to the curb and taking him for everything he’s worth.
Now, all this information might be a bit disturbing, but take heart from the fact that a good percentage of relationships start on a no-strings-attached basis and evolve into something more meaningful from there. Enjoy the dating game by not wearing your heart on your sleeve or letting your guard down too soon. Love is a battlefield, ladies. He might be “Mister Right,” or you might just be “Miss Tonight,” but as long as you live in the moment, play safe, and don’t cave on your values and principles, there’s no reason you can’t take charge and enjoy the thrill of both possibilities.
For some, love and sex are intertwined, but most people have the ability to enjoy love without sex or sex without love – if they let go and allow themselves to do so. – Reed ext. 5105
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