When we’re in a new relationship it’s important to follow a few guidelines to ensure it has the best chance at happiness. Working at California Psychics, our very own Psychic Parker has picked up quite a few tips for new couples. Here are her top 23 things to keep in mind if you’ve just started a relationship or just turned it from dating to “going steady.”
1. See their good qualities, not just their faults. All we tend to focus on is our partner’s faults and, naturally, we want to fix them. No one is perfect. Give the good qualities a chance to present themselves and focus on them.
2. If you can’t accept their faults, move on. Again, you don’t want to fix them, and you don’t want to always see that there is something wrong with them. If you do, then you don’t focus on what’s wrong with you. If you’re too busy working on someone else, you aren’t working on yourself.
3. If they’re needy, they will actually smother their mate. Some women smother their men. That’s what they think love is.
4. Don’t try to control them. We try to control someone else because we feel out of control and we want to feel better. Remember, it’s not them, it’s you. Controlling them won’t make you feel better about yourself. It will just distract you from healthy growth.
5. Trust they will not stray. Don’t be afraid if he’s talking to an old girlfriend. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheating. But, men need to be more sensitive about how it makes their mates feel. They can tone it down without being sneaky.
6. To be successful, just be yourself, not who you think they want you to be. You will be more happy and comfortable if you just be yourself.
7. Have fun! There’s no need to hurry the relationship. If you’re compatible, it will work out. Some people race to commitment. If you do, you might miss some point of incompatibility.
8. Be up front with your feelings. If you aren’t, how are they going to know what’s going on with you—especially if your body language says something different. Perhaps there is a certain behavior that bothers you? If so, try saying this to your partner: “When you do that behavior, it makes me feel…” We often don’t want to share our feelings because we’re embarrassed, afraid of rejection or afraid of being called a sissy or crybaby.
9. Don’t take each other for granted. Appreciate and acknowledge the things your partner does for you and do nice things for them, too!
10. Don’t settle for someone, especially if you haven’t been in a relationship for a while. Be a chooser, not the one who is chosen.
11. The path to disaster is loving conditionally, not unconditionally. You have ideas or terms for how your relationship should be. Isn’t that conditional love? It’s easy to spot conditional love when someone is constantly trying to fix someone, control them, is secretive, nagging and so on.
12. You can fix the loneliness within yourself. You can be fine on your own. You shouldn’t use other people to get rid of your loneliness.
13. Respect each other’s space. Men have their man caves, and females can have their temples. If someone is spending time alone, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They just need some time to themselves, and so do you!
14. Your partner needs to have their own interests, and they don’t have to share it with you. It’s good to have some things in common, but it’s also good to have separate interests. What’s important is that you respect each other’s interests. You don’t have to do everything together.
15. Respect each other.
16. Be spontaneous.
17. Be a good listener—without giving your two cents. It makes us uncomfortable to see a loved one hurt or frustrated, and we immediately try to fix things. But, that’s not always what our partner wants. Sometimes, they just want to be listened to and that can be comforting. If they want your opinion, they’ll ask for it.
18. Don’t go to bed angry. When you go to bed angry, you sleep angry, and wake up angry. Put the anger to bed before your head hits the pillow. Deal with the anger when the feeling is still fresh. The more removed you are from the angry feelings, they more difficult it becomes to resolve the anger.
19. Keep passion in life. Have surprises, but not every day. If they are too frequent, they aren’t as special. Little surprises are always a good thing.
20. Women need to loosen the reigns on their partner. Otherwise, they will run!
21. If your partner is being secretive, and you can’t get it resolved, consider leaving the relationship.
22. Leave the relationship if there is abuse: verbal, emotional or physical.
23. Be in a relationship by preference, not by need.
If you’re in a new relationship, or if you have taken your relationship to the next level, and you and your partner have issues, talk with Psychic Parker and give your relationship a chance to prosper.
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