Unlock the Not-So-Hidden Secrets of Women
Women are a locked Pandora’s box of mystery. Did you know that us guys sit around in circles when you are asleep at night, and discuss what we think all those tools in your bathroom are for? We ponder the powers of cosmetics and the potential for milk to soothe the savage PMS attack. However, when it comes down to it, we really have no idea about bobby pins, emoticons, bed skirts, and those pink shorts with the cryptic messages written on your rear. These are the 21 things that us men just don’t understand, and are too lazy to ask you about.
1. Why do I have to tell you about my day? Isn’t going through it once punishment enough?
2. Why am I allowed to be a jerk for three months at the beginning of our relationship, meaning that I can say or do no wrong? Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, I’m expected to be a gentleman. Where did you misplace those rose-colored glasses? I’d like to retrieve them for you.
3. Once we say “I love you” why do we still have to put the toilet seat down?
4. Why do you store all your toots (gas) until the evening when we are the only ones in bed with you?
5. Where does all that toilet paper go, anyway?
6. How many shoes does one woman need?
7. What do you keep in that giant, luggage-sized purse?
8. How can you have nothing to wear, when eight-tenths of the bedroom is your closet?
9. Are you breeding bobby pins?
10. Why do you get mad at me for being honest with you, when you asked me to be honest in the first place?
11. How can you go shopping, when you have nothing, in particular, you need to buy?
12. You wonder where all the good guys are? Well, I’ll tell you. We’re right here, sitting at home, wondering where are all the girls are who supposedly want us.
13. Why are we expected to know where your G-spot is, when according to most women’s magazines, you haven’t found it either?
14. How do you manage to stay awake after sex?
15. Who made sex a weekly appointment?
16. What’s located on your butt that you always seem to be intent on looking at it?
17. Why do you dress sexy like you’re trying to attract a man, when you’ve already got one? And then you complain when a guy hits on you…
18. Why do you count the number of emoticon kissy faces we leave on a message and use this to gauge how much we really like you?
19. Why do you have spare shoes stashed away in your car… Do those things go flat or something?
20. Why do you care so much about what other women think?
21. Why bother reading all these articles that are meant to give you a better romantic relationship, when according to most women’s magazines, the majority of your problems are caused by the men you are with? Isn’t that like getting a medical degree to be a patient?
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