Why Marriage Might Not Be in Your Future
As a guy, I never thought about marriage much—until I met my wife. I believe that men (and women) know within the first few minutes of meeting a person whether or not they are marriage material, but I also think that fate plays a big role in love. There are many things that can influence a man’s decision to get married, including his experience, age and perception of marriage. If you’ve been with your guy for years and he has yet to “pop the question,” you may be wondering why. Well, here are 10 reasons why marriage may not be in your future with him.
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Think about the way husbands have been portrayed on TV. They’re often a source of humor and emasculation. In TV marriages, the wives often call the shots and the husbands make all the money for the wives to spend. While this isn’t an accurate portrayal of all marriages and while it might not be an accurate portrayal of your marriage, it may make marriage a huge turn off for your guy.
Marriage ruins sex. It’s not true for everyone, but there are many married couples who report a drastic dip in their sexy time once they’ve said “I do.” Some reports even suggest that married sex isn’t as satisfying as dating sex or cohabitation sex. But changes in your sex life are a normal part of any long-term relationship.
The older a man gets, the less interested he is in walking down the aisle. So when a man turns 38, his desire to get married starts to diminish. And after 45, trying to get him to marry you may be a hopeless cause. But if he’s been married before, chances are good he’ll want to get married again. Well, the chances are better than trying to get a man over 45 who has never been married before to marry you.
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One of the things that help a man determine if you’re marriage material is whether or not he think you’re capable of being faithful to him. It doesn’t matter how beautiful or sexy he finds you; if he can’t trust you to be faithful to him, he won’t seal the deal.
Many men see marriage as a loss—of their freedom, options, space, money and friends. If he is more focused on what he has to give up to be with you than what he would gain by marrying you, chances are you’re not getting married.
According to surveys, men are more likely to marry women who want the same things they do. While compromise is an important part of every relationship, the more compromises a man is expected to make early on, the less likely he will be to perceive you as his forever soulmate.
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As long as a guy has everything he needs, he may see little reason to change the way things are. While living together has its good and bad points, if your goal is to one day be married, make sure that you reserve some happiness for after the wedding bells. In other words, if you want a man to look forward to marriage with you, give him something to look forward to.
Getting married can be the equivalent to a three-month world tour when you consider the amount of money it could end up costing. Guys do not often dream about their wedding day, so they rarely have the same expectations as women.
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Living with mom can keep a man from reaching his full potential. Also, it can give a man a false sense of how his wife should treat him. Mom caters to his every need, so why shouldn’t his wife? Also, is any woman going to live up to his mother’s standards? If your guy is too attached to his mother, or if her opinion matters more than it should, there’s a good chance he won’t be meeting you at the altar.
10. Other Marriages
Are his parents happily married or are they divorced? How about his grandparents, best friend’s or sibling’s marriages? If your guy is surrounded by unhappy marriages, chances are he won’t be rushing to get married. But if all his friends are married and happy, he’s likely to get married too.