Love Trends and Relationship Changes After 40
For many of my callers, turning 40 seems to bring on a nasty phase of life where nothing seems to be working out. And when it comes to love, men and women change differently after that age. For example, men may want more spice in the bedroom, while women may want more gravy on top of their conversations with their partners. There are plenty of relationship changes!
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So what is really going on? And, what can you do about it? Let’s start with some of the common complaints I receive from my female callers who are over 40 or have partners who are over 40:
“I feel like a dinosaur.”
“My phone used to ring off the hook.”
“All he wants to talk about is sports and politics.”
“He used to love it when I teased him. Now he takes everything personally.”
“He used to want to know everything about me. Now I feel like he is being distant.”
If you’re over 40 and you’re having these feeling as a result of relationship changes, your relationship is struggling.
After 40, our love lives can feel like stagnant water. There’s no flow or movement and we fear they’ll sink us. But few of us have the courage to do much about it other than look the other way. Unfortunately, not admitting to the reality of your love life or attempting to escape from the situation won’t solve your romantic problems. It’s high time for couples in their 40s to get away from their love illusions and pull their heads out of the sand!
Work on It or Move on
Be brave enough to work on your relationship, or walk away from it all together. But working on a relationship to make it better takes a lot of time, emotion and effort. Are you willing to commit to that? Is your partner? Conversely, if you don’t walk away when you need to, you risk contaminating every good memory you’ve made with that person. Why drag it out when you don’t need to?
If your relationship makes you feel like there’s nothing special about you, then you are stuck in the wrong place and you need to get out of it. Anyone who has the power to make you feel ordinary is too important in your life and so you need to let them go. Dealing with a lover’s indifference is one of the toughest things for my callers over 40 to handle, and making a bad thing work is not a great idea.
Life is too Short
Your inner spirit is always encouraging you to be happy and feel content, but it is ultimately up to you if you want to stay with someone who doesn’t make you happy. Life is too short to spend it with someone who sucks the happiness out of you!
There’s hope for each of us—at any age.
Someone, somewhere is looking for someone exactly like you! So don’t let fears about never finding love again keep you from leaving the person you’re with. Eventually, everything is going to be better. You will meet someone, someday, who hugs you so tight that all your broken pieces will stick back together and make you feel whole.