You’ve just attended your umpteenth glamorous wedding this summer. It made you long for one of your own. Now that you’re over thirty, the social pressure to hurry up and get paired up feels like a noose – but you genuinely want a relationship.
It’s time to stop whining that all the good men are gay, married or taken. Shake up your dating habits and get your man or woman!
1. Online Dating: If you haven’t tried this you may want to get yourself back out there digitally. New sites are popping up all the time. Try different interests on different sites; don’t just stick with the same pool of men over and over.
2. Set-Ups: Your mother’s best friend knows a single guy who would be just perfect for you. Stop resisting and go on the date. Even if he’s not for you, use it as practice to send out positive, open dating energy into the universe.
3. Ask a Guy Out: You’ve been flirting with the same guy for months but he hasn’t asked you out, take the next step. He may not have known you were actually interested in him.
4. Overdrinking: Cut back on that alcohol intake during social outings. You will be able to remember more of the activities and gain confidence in your speaking skills. Your body will thank you later!
5. Overthinking: Stop checking boxes off in your head and start living. Men are not something you order at a husband warehouse. You have to be open to exploring men from different professions and races.
6. Excuses: Using your busy professional career as an excuse for avoiding a personal life is no longer an excuse. In this economy, there’s few workplaces that are loyal to you, so make sure you take care of your mental and emotional well-being. Creating a life outside of work and flirting is a good way to keep your life in balance.
7. Giving Everyone a First Date: The “rule” is that everyone gets a first date, and each decade you add to that – so in your 30s, that means that everyone gets two. Throw that rule out the window right now, because if the first date is like watching paint dry, why waste your time trying to make something work that isn’t?
8. Passion Delay: If you’ve been waiting to travel somewhere, or take a course because you don’t have a partner, why? It’s time to take those adventures and passions of all sizes and pursue them. Wouldn’t you rather spend time with someone who has exciting life experiences then someone who is waiting for you to make them happen for them?
9. Sex Rules: Well, good sex does rule, but in this case, I’m talking about sleeping with a man on the first date. That’s the surefire way to get an STD but not make a one-night stand into a lasting relationship.
10. Living in a Fantasy: While books and movies paint a beautiful image of how romance should be, men in the real world have bills to pay just like we do. If you dismiss men with a glance, you will never get that glass slipper. Let go of your preconceptions – get out there and get flirting!
What rules would you add – and then break?
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5 thoughts on “10 Dating Habits to Break After 30”
About this rule:
9. Sex Rules: Well, good sex does rule, but in this case, I’m talking about sleeping with a man on the first date. That’s the surefire way to get an STD but not make a one-night stand into a lasting relationship.
You won’t necessarily get a STD / STI if you sleep with a man or woman the first date. Because if you use protection (latex or another type of rubber), you’ll more than likely be safe. You can still get STDs / STIs from a partner you’ve had for a very long time. It pays to know their sexual history, as well as you’re own. Keep both up to date with regular testing.
It’s all about common sense and not scare tactics, here. The surefire way to get a STD / STI is not wearing protection and engaging in sexual activities, even with a known partner. You can get STDs / STIs from blood transfusion as well as if you’re a first responder and fluids are transferred during the service of saving someone’s life or in a dental clinic.
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hi everyone- just remember that no one human can meet EVERY need. if this were true then we wouldnt need friends & spouses or families- be excited about peoples differences not judgmental. base a relationship on personality -not on what they can give you. by doing this you will give and receive the benefits of relationships. as long as a relationship doesnt include abuse- then let it blossom for what it is rather than what it isnt. I am married now for 22 yrs to a man completly opposite to the TYPE I had always dated. good luck
After my divorce, I was instructed by my friends to watch the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You.” After watching it, I decided to throw out ‘dating games’, which was the basis for much of the movie. I don’t have the time or energy for that stupid crap. I tell them up front what sort of relationship I am interested in having (I’m not looking for a relationship, but someone to hang out and have fun with–nothing serious), and that I’m not interested in playing games. That way they don’t have to try to appear as if they aren’t too interested and keep me guessing in order to keep an emotional distance between us. They seem relieved and it takes the mystery out of “does he like me?” or “why hasn’t he called?”. Our relationship automatically skips the time wasted on typical dating games so we can just focus on hanging out and having fun. If they want to play games or disrespect me, then I don’t want anything to do with them anyways. This way I get to know lots of guys, and perhaps someday in the process, one of them may become a relationship. Personally, I’ve learned not to actively seek guys as boyfriends and push the process because it’s bound to not turn out well.
At one point I did choose to date one guy exclusively, so I told the guys I was hanging out with/dating what the situation was. My BF and I eventually broke up, and I resumed dating the other guys again. Yes, these guys all screwed up to some degree or another at some point and I dropped them, but eventually they wanted to be friends (or whatever) again. I tell them where they f*cked up, and that all I ask for is common courtesy and respect (at the very least they get a lesson on how to treat a woman). One guy who was strictly a physical relationship turned into a non-sexual friendship who I wound up setting up with a friend. Another who I didn’t take very seriously because of a big age difference turns out to be the smartest guy I’ve ever dated. He admitted to, and apologized for, his behavior and I currently still see him when we can get together. I’m no seasoned veteran on this topic, but my experience thus far using this tactic has been relatively positive. For reference, I’m 33, was married for 8 years (now divorced), and have only dated 20-somethings so far.
I hope this helps somebody out there!
Good Luck!
Hi Colleen,
Here is one, letting go of fear, this is so big as we age it seems that too often through life experience, we hold on to fear too tight, when letting go of fear you can realize that you can have a super, loving relationship, but the key is letting go of the fear.
Blessings and Big Hugs!
Jacqueline x9472