DreamCast: Let Go of a Lost Love

Anthea from Western Cape, South Africa writes:

Hi Cortney, although I am married, I constantly dream of my ex-boyfriend from eight years ago. He was the love of my life. In the dreams he is either with his parents or his current wife. Then he walks toward me to be with me. He sometimes talks to me, and previously I talked back, but now I ignore him. I am scared that I will never be free of him. He hurt me too much and that is why I left him, but I still loved him so much during the beginning of my new relationship and marriage. I finally moved on last year, but the dreams keep haunting me.

Hello Anthea,

Dreams seem to be the last thing to go when a relationship ends. We usually dream of a past relationship when we feel there is something left unfinished, unsaid or unresolved. You need a sense of closure. Assuming that you don’t want to contact your ex, you might try writing him a letter (but not mailing it), stating all the feelings—both positive and negative—that he brought out in you, and the feelings you’re still struggling with, which may reveal the reason you’re still dreaming about him. Then tell him goodbye, in the letter.

It’s alarming that you still refer to this man as the love of your life, even though he hurt you badly. To find out why, I looked up your chart and saw that you have Sun, Mercury, Venus and Mars in Taurus, a “fixed” sign that often has a hard time letting go. Your Moon in Aquarius, the sign of change, helps with transitions, but it forms a T-cross with your Sun and Uranus. Taurus needs security and consistency in a relationship, but the Uranus influence creates a craving for someone who evokes extreme emotions in you. Perhaps you can channel this need for excitement into your work so you don’t desire such extreme highs and lows in your personal life. Hope that helps!

Sweet dreams,


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3 thoughts on “DreamCast: Let Go of a Lost Love

  1. valerie

    I cant stop thinking of my ex. He hurt me so bad,but i cant help that i still love him. I still want to be with him, and i dont know why. I guess because hes done so much for me, but he never made me feel good enough only the first year of our relationship he made me feel pretty about myself. I dont know what to do. Now that we broke up. I feel im not good enough for anybody.

  2. Patty

    The love’s of our life are usually the ones that teach us our greatest lessons in life. If you look closely at the relationship and how the hurt affected you and changed you, you will find the gift that that relationship brought you. There is always a gift, we just can’t always see it right away. Once you are able to find the gift you will be able to forgive him, thank him for the gift, and truly move on.

  3. Donna

    I continue to dream and have thoughts of a pasy love, I have not moved on with another relationship because I still love him, we have talked but, eesolving the issue from my point is nit there. Am I just holding on because its what I want to do hoping things will change and he will come back or am I just fooling myself. I need to let go and move on.


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