Good sex is good sex, right? Wrong! The intricacies of intimacy can be pretty tricky and what satisfies one lover may not work for another! Your best friend’s hottest night of passion may have left you totally, utterly cold.
Individual turn-ons stem from a combination of factors — some inherent and some that are the result of exposure. In other words, we won’t necessarily know that we like (or don’t like) a certain something until we’ve been exposed to it! So how can you tell if the sex you’re having is good?
How do you feel?
Surprise, surprise, but sex is yet another instance where your best barometer is your gut. This may be basic, but if you’re crying before, during, after or about your sex life, odds are there’s likely a problem. Conversely, if you’re always thinking about getting your partner between the sheets, odds are there’s something good going on in (and out of) bed.
Is it a two way street?
Reciprocity is another fantastic measure of sexual compatibility. If the amorous activities are skewed toward one side or another on a regular basis, mutual satisfaction drops. If your lover misses your sweet spots but makes sure their own are found – and tended to – without fail, it’s time to address the situation. Likewise, if you’re happy to get but reticent to give, you’re in need of a reality check. The bedroom is not a place for being shy, and if either of you keeps things one sided (in either direction) thinking it’s only affecting your own experience, you couldn’t be more wrong. Sex is a two way street and if one lane’s not being used, before too long, the exit ramp is a given.
Do you talk about it?
Open communication is the key to a satisfying sex life. A little dirty talk never hurt anyone, and let’s face it, sweet – and moreover saucy – nothings have certainly helped more than a few couples to get their groove back (and keep getting it on). Similarly, we often make the mistake of expecting our partners to read our minds – not even psychics can do that in the bedroom! You have to tell your partner what turns you on if you have any hopes of getting it!
Need some help bringing sexy back? Find out how astrology can help!