At some point in life, most of us want a committed love relationship. But the key words in that sentence are “at some point!” Are you ready now to take the next step in your relationship? Whether it’s exclusivity, moving in together or considering getting married, this quick quiz will give you some new perspective.
1. How would you describe your life at this stage:
a.) Busy! I barely have enough time to take care of myself, nevermind giving attention to someone else! (0 points)
b.) There are highs and lows, but I’m pretty balanced and I’m open to something serious. (5 points)
c.) I’m settled and committed and serious about finding someone/taking things up a notch. (10 points)
2. When you think about your life in five years, which of the following statements applies:
a.) My partner is definitely part of the plan. (10 points)
b.) My partner might be part of some things I’m considering. (5 points)
c.) My partner is probably not still around. (0 points)
3. If you were out with your friends one night and ran into your (smoking hot) ex-love, who after some reminiscing invited you back to their place you would:
a.) Consider it briefly, but realize I’m not interested and I’m with someone, I’d decline. (7 points)
b.) Say no clearly and definitively. My mate means more to me than even thinking about that! (10 points)
c.) Go for it… as long as no one would ever know. (0 points)
d.) Consider it, but not go through with it because I’d be afraid I’d get caught. (2 points)
4. The holidays are approaching and your mate wants to spend them with you and your family…. You:
a.) Bring them home with you – there’s no one you’d rather spend the time with! (7 points)
b.) Bring them home – but begrudgingly. (2 points)
c.) Rearrange your plans to be with them – in a venue where it suits you both. (10 points)
d.) Politely refuse. Though you may not say this, your parents are tired of meeting people you’re not sure you’re serious about. (5 points)
e.) Flat out say no. You have your doubts that you’ll make it to Valentine’s Day. (0 points)
5. If you are going to stay with your current mate…
a.) They need to change a few things. (0 points)
b.) We need to work on some stuff… but we’re on it. (5 points)
c.) We just need to keep the same attitude and commitment we’ve already got! (10 points)
6. I’m happy with the idea of potentially spending the rest of my life with my mate.
a) Most of the time. (10)
b) Not so much. (2)
c) All of the time (5)
d) Not at all (0)
Sounds like you’re not really sold on this whole commitment thing… so why do it? It’s important to keep in mind that settling doesn’t do anyone any favors – you or your lover. Letting go now – unless you both understand that things really aren’t getting serious at this point – will free you both up to find a relationship worth committing to. And you deserve that! If what’s keeping you around is pressure (self-imposed or otherwise), remember that if you accept less than what you want – less than what will make you happy – you’re telling the universe that’s okay with you… and it shouldn’t be! The only commitment you should be making right now is to yourself.
There’s no need to rush into anything unnecessarily. While you’re not sure about your relationship at this exact moment, it does have potential… so stop the hurry! Dating is geared specifically at letting you find out what you do – and don’t – want in a potential life mate. So use this time for that… sometime down the road you may find yourself more willing to make it work with this mate or you may know it’s time to go, but either way, you’ll have used this time for all that it’s worth. Growth and knowledge should be your current commitment.
You may just be ready to take that next step. Only you know for sure, and it’s important that you weigh your decision carefully and thoughtfully. But don’t mistake a little doubt for a deadend. Wise decisions in life and love are those that are thought about and talked about openly. Have a clear discussion with your paramour and once you’ve both said what you’ve got to say, good and bad, don’t be afraid to take the next step. Commitment can be scary – but it’s exciting, too!
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