Sex isn’t always equally fulfilling for both partners. Sadly, this is not an uncommon problem, but luckily, it’s not incurable. Mutually satisfying sex, the kind that leaves you both awash in bonding hormones and basking in afterglow is possible. Here are three ways to help make sure you’re both getting the best — ahem — bang for your buck.
Isolate the issue
Whether your between the sheet battle involves premature ejaculation, not enough foreplay, discomfort, bad body image or a host of other standard sexual issues, take a moment to identify the problem. It may sound obvious but only by knowing what is wrong can you fix it. Determining the issue will help to inform your approach.
Now that you know what’s wrong (or at least its most obvious symptom), decide on what a great sex life would look/feel like for you. The reason? You have to know what you’re aiming for in order to get there. Opening a discussion with a goal like, “Honey, I’m thinking I might like to try this,” might just be the intro you need!
Open the dialogue
So it’s embarrassing? It’s also creating a rift in your relationship. An unequal (or unsatisfying) sex life is the elephant in the bedroom and yet oftentimes, couples faced with the problem aren’t willing to talk about it! Nonsense! Sex is a necessary and vital part of any paring. Odds are, if it’s not working in bed it’s not working someplace else — which is why you need to open your mouth… in this case, to speak about it.
Remember that the topic at hand is as tender as it is natural. Make your mate feel criticized or inadequate and you’ll likely make the situation worse. Make them feel loved and desired (after all, the goal is a more connected couple’s experience) and you may just get what you’re looking for, or at least set yourselves on the path to it.
Meet in the middle
On that note, remember that sex is a two way street. Once you’ve told your partner something you’d enjoy, ask to know something they’d like in return. If they’re shy, take it upon yourself to consider how you can please your partner (while still getting what you want). Be the best giver you can be, as well as the best receiver. The quality of your sexual relationship depends mainly on the energy you (both) put into it!
Ever consider your partner’s Sun Sign in relation to your sex life? Why not try now – and tell us about it!