Cassandra in New York, NY asks:
I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in a major that I erroneously chose, and subsequently have been stuck in the wrong career path for almost a five year period. I have hunches that I should be following a career path that has to deal with world culture, even to have gone so far as taking a few graduate courses reflecting these hunches, but I’m still so uncertain as to what I should be looking into career wise. I also feel that my uncertainty/frustration is causing blockages in other aspects of my life. Help!
Anya Dawn ext. 9179 responds:
Why or how this feeling got started in you is a mystery to everyone around. Popularity is something you never lacked. Caretaker to all, it feels like the whole world is occupied with all of your issues. Perhaps your “hunches” about your career path is a way to lessen other people’s knowledge about what is causing your frustration? Whatever the reason, you are looking for a way to be inscrutable to all you know.
When you decide to put your life first, things will start changing. Presently you’re unable to create what you want with a certain man I’ll name Mr. Stone. This is an example of not putting yourself in the driver seat. Creating diverse ways in order to gain the reaction you seek from Mr. Stone is preventing you from living the life you desire. This situation will not quickly resolve because both of you want different things in the present.
You’re putting annoyances from other areas onto your job. As a result, you’re keeping yourself from emptying out bottled up emotions. Containing feelings is actually increasing relationship problems by keeping issues on ice. Being unhappy with what’s actually going right in your life—like your job—will allow you to displace your upset with Mr. Stone and lengthen the gridlock.
People know your choices aren’t making you happier because you’re unable to enjoy the popularity you normally thrive on. When any individual tries to get you to see what is going on, the more you resist and tell them that your work is causing the irritation. Pulling away from everybody around you is a direct result of not giving up on how you would like Mr. Stone to respond. You are unable to be yourself.
This is why the career situation became “the problem” for you. By magnifying your upset toward something other than Mr. Stone, you don’t have to face the limitations of the immediate future. Your strength of holding your own has become your weakness. You have always had the uncanny ability to get your way—most of the time. But the frustration you’re feeling doesn’t have to last much longer. Going forward with allowing fun in your life happens when you’re ready.
You weren’t created to be such a vibrant woman to worry about someone holding back. Instead you were born to be propelling your way to a future with a partner ahead, not behind you. Go forward and don’t worry about others’ movements. Just savor your life and allow in people that are pulling you to the next vantage point. Remember, you don’t need to seek the world, because the whole world is searching for someone just like you.
Do you have a question for Money Matters? Submit your question to Money Matters now.