Let’s face it, sex sells. And in our day to day culture where we’re bombarded by buxom babes and guys with six pack abs, it’s easy to fall pretty to the belief that in order to be sexy, we have to be super young and uber-fit with perfect features, dazzling smiles, flawless skin and money to spare.
However, if you turn off your TV or computer, close the pages of your magazine and pause to consider what makes someone sexy in reality (you know, in the flesh), you’ll realize it’s not looks or age or even a perfect body, but rather something else altogether. It’s a healthy, happy, confident state of mind.
Now before we go any further, let’s be clear about one thing. We’re talking about sex appeal, not sex drive. Wanting sex and projecting sexiness are not synonymous. The feeling in question is one that radiates from the inside out effortlessly. More than desire or glamour or anything else for that matter, it says “I am comfortable in my skin.” That is the stuff that sexiness is made of.
So, how do you get to that place of unabashed appeal? Here’s a tip: it all starts with a sexy mind!
Secrets of a sexy mind…
If you’re exhausted already thinking a sexy mind must always be trained on sex, relax! That’s not the case at all. A sexy mind, rather than an obsessed or fixated mind is well-balanced and most of all, present. It reads a situation and reacts accordingly, with confidence. When things are bad, it doesn’t block them, it experiences them… but it doesn’t wallow or carry unnecessary baggage (because problems are processed when they arise).
People who possess natural sex appeal allow themselves to live their lives recognizing that perfection is not required. And it’s the acceptance of their own imperfections that makes them so perfectly appealing despite any flaws! They don’t try to live up to someone else’s standards, rather, they set their own. They’re not afraid to flirt – because they’re aware that their smile, gesture or saucy little quip opens a door without sending the wrong (desperate, unconfident) signals. In fact, sometimes, they flirt even when it’s just for flirting’s sake! Perhaps the most important thing you can remember as you cultivate your own sexy mind is… there are no rules.
Every individual is different and sex appeal is not, contrary to what advertisers would like you to think, it’s not something that can be defined. While one person may be appealing thanks in part to an effortless fashion sense, another may be buttoned up but have a hearty, engaging laugh. The point here – in channeling your own appeal from the inside out – is to learn to be comfortable with yourself. Doubts and old patterns will no doubt arise as you attempt to transition into a new, sexier way of being, but you can’t let yourself be ruled by them. Sexy people (and sexy minds) do not fit into a box or a status quo. They are unique and they’re okay with that, just as they’re constantly aware that life in an evolution.
Room to grow!
Being confident and celebrating yourself, does not mean having a huge ego or strutting around town like you own it. Sexy people are open. They’re willing to listen and learn. A sexy mind maintains awareness of the world and seeks ways to be in tune with it. Implore this technique and you’ll find that your gut becomes your guide as opposed to any external dictator… and that the ability to trust in yourself and go with your instincts can be the sexiest thing of all! And who knows where that will lead!
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