Red Responds: Taken For Granted

T.W. from Douglas asks:

For most of my life I’ve been a giver. I feel comfortable in that role, and enjoy it most of the time. However, the past few years have left me feeling that my understanding, giving, and forgiving nature has been taken for granted by my husband. Now, I’m seeing the same pattern with a co-worker. She was one of my best friends before we began working together a little over a year ago. It doesn’t bother me to give more than I receive, as long as I know the other person’s motives are pure and that they won’t use me. I have the biggest problem when their behavior becomes disrespectful. My husband has had affairs, and my friend/co-worker treats me like a subordinate. I need to know how to stand up for myself, and create healthy boundaries. I want to know how to do this without damaging the relationships, but, I guess, in so many ways these relationships are already damaged. I’m a Gemini, and both of these people are Cancers. Thanks for your insight.

Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear T.W.,

You have already identified the two biggest issues that cause you pain and conflict. Acknowledging that your relationships are out of balance, and realizing that you need to set some boundaries, is the key to creating happier and healthier relationships.

Where you seem to be having the most trouble is finding a way to express your feelings. Because you’re a natural peace-maker and giver, you fear causing disruption or unhappiness. That is something you should focus on working through. Sometimes the best way to avoid confrontation and get your point across is to ask questions when the people around you are being disrespectful, demeaning, or taking you for granted. You can really tone down your frustrations by opening a line of communication from perceived curiosity – such as “Why are you speaking to me that way? Have I upset you?” or “I would be happy to help you, but I’d really appreciate it if next time you… (insert boundary here).”

You rarely stand up for yourself. Sure, you’ve blown up here and there, but those emotional rushes don’t typically bring about lasting, productive results. People expect you to endure, forgive, and move on. Typically, you do.

Some changes, especially personal ones, come about slowly. Think things through, look for calm opportunities, and share with those who impact your life what you’re thinking and feeling underneath your smile. While not everyone will embrace you turning over a new leaf and becoming more of a priority in your own life, those who value you and have pure intentions will respond favorably; and even offer you a little help and assistance along the way.

Brightest Blessings,


Do you have a question for Red? Ask Red your question now.

What’s ahead for your love life? Try a psychic reading. Call 1.800.573.4830 or choose your psychic now.

2 thoughts on “Red Responds: Taken For Granted

  1. lostindarkness

    I have also been working to set boundaries, for myself, as well as others. I think I can finally recognize that if others refuse to respect those boundaries then it’s time for me to walk away. Unfortunately it is my family now, who are refusing to accept the boundaries. They are the last people in the world that I want to turn away from, but what choice do I have if they won’t talk and won’t respect my boundaries?

    Good luck T.W.! 🙂

  2. velvetoversteel

    This was a perfect response, Red!!

    As a ‘giver, forgiver Gemini’ myself, I know exactly where T.W. is coming from. I have been working very hard the last few years on both setting boundaries and expressing myself… before I boil over. Which you are totally correcting in that Not having lasting results. It only made me feel ‘worst’ and gave those who did take advantage of me… excuses for their behavior.

    You gave, T.W. some simple yet Great Advice, Red!! Thank you from all of us ‘givers & forgivers’!! 🙂
    Blessings & Hugs,
    Coreen @ Velvet Over Steel


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *