Sex Q&A: When to Move On

Tricia Wrote:

My last boyfriend, Josh and I broke up about two months ago due to outside influences (job, school, family, etc) and I felt like the same universe that brought us together also tore us apart. It’s left an inconclusive feeling in my heart and I felt like we never really had a shot. I realized that I’m in love with him and I’m usually very protective of my feelings. To make things worse lately there has been weird things happening around me. I see/hear his name, an ad for his favorite shows will come on the radio/TV and I’ll hear a song that has some relevance to our relationship. The last thing I want to be is a crazy stalker. I’m trying to stay positive but I’ve been bitten by the “love bug” and I just need to know what direction to take. Will we get another shot or should I just forget about the whole thing?

Liam’s Response:

Tricia, thank you so much for sharing this. I must be very honest with you; though external pressures often complicate the best of relationships, people who are very passionate about each other will not allow family, school, work or anything else to keep them apart. External influences might be a factor in preventing commitment, but when it comes to being together they are not really a true reason; the fact is men often make weak excuses to cover the fact that they aren’t interested in a committed monogamous relationship, and so called external influences can be one such excuse.

You must understand the basic sexual nature of both men and women. Men are prone, for biological reasons, to pursue mulitple sexual conquests. Women, on the other hand must cultivate their unique feminine wiles to override the male fear of commitment. It’s a mating ritual that’s as old as the hills, and it all boils down to the same thing, no matter how many New York Times Bestsellers are written on the subject. In your case, I feel you are failing to utilize some very potent female charms to bag your man.

As for “the universe” breaking you up, I’m skeptical, because I don’t think the universe brought you together in the first place. You found your man using your own talents. The universe couldn’t possibly care about such things. And as far as hearing items in songs and seeing signs, that happens to everyone; there’d be no music business without broken hearts. These patterns are simply attributable to your own desire to find a common meaning in things. It’s a very natural desire. You’ve certainly heard the old saying that “misery loves company,” right? Indeed, all things only have the meaning we ascribe to them, so you can pretty much find meaning in anything if you try. You want confirmation from ‘out there’ that Josh is coming back. Stop looking ‘out there.’ Look inside instead, and get ready for the next man you meet.

How? First, you have to try not to be too needy. I sense this fellow is attracted to dangerous girls. I also sense he needs a firm feminine hand but has an aversion to being controlled. You are not to contact him under any circumstances. Not even “as friends.” I sense you would cave-in instantly if he gave you even a nod of acknowledgment, and he senses that as well. Men will not chase prey that isn’t moving. So get out and date somebody else. Remain aloof. When he returns for sex, seduce and dominate him. Then leave him be for a week or two. Don’t even return his calls. Take all that energy you’ve been using to seek answers from “the universe,” and work on your own seduction skills instead. When you see Josh, be strong. Acknowledge him only when he responds to you on a real, emotional level. Now you might see this as game playing, and you’re right, it is. Love and sex are a game, the most complex game of all. And as in all games, there are winners, and there are losers. So you might as well decide which one you want to be. You are a far more powerful woman than you know, so give yourself this chance to sharpen your skills. You might find that Josh will come back to you on his own. In any case, you’ll be a stronger, happier woman, the dream girl for any man.

Be well.


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