Be the Damsel in Distress
Kristen from Rae, Canada asks:
How do you make a guy want to be in a relationship with you?
There are lots of ways and many paths to managing this feat, but for this lesson let us just speak of that great erotic paradox; the damsel in distress, also known as the princess in the tower. I suggest this because it is this archetype above all others that most men truly desire. The walls of the tower might be imposed by another (a husband, a boyfriend) or, if the lady is cunning, by herself. The point is the damsel appears out of reach. And that’s the appearance we want. She also appears vulnerable. And that’s also the appearance we want. It’s nice to believe that men respond to strong women, to the successful and educated, but the unfortunate fact is, that isn’t the case. Those are the attributes women want and men attain them in order to get women. Education, power, influence and the trappings of success aren’t important mating criteria for most men. That doesn’t make men shallow; it’s simply the difference in archetypal attraction. Now, there are many sub types and varying archetypes that a fellow might be attracted to for relationships at different cycles in his life. But the aloof and vulnerable maiden rarely fails to form an instant allure and awaken the dormant desire for the male to pair bond. Like it or not this is the real secret: if a woman can both resist and entice and when finally captured, surrender utterly to the man’s strength, he will stick to her like glue. The BDSM crowd calls this topping from the bottom.
Do you know how many calls I get from bright, attractive, successful women whose husbands have ditched them for young girls with addiction problems? How many Ivy school grads are thrown over for cute skanky types who barely manage to speak in complete sentences? Men are absolute suckers for the “little girl lost”; the princess in distress. Why was Fiona Apple so attractive in her day with her skeletal figure and lank hair? Why do men go crazy over sickly, hollow- eyed models? There’s something about that beat up, used and abused image that resonates deeply with men. It makes them want to go into rescue mode and perhaps even be a bit corrupted themselves in the process. A woman who fails to cater to a man’s need to rescue, his natural drive to overpower and command, will always lose out to some other woman who lives (or at least appears to live) on the wrong side of town.
How do you make a man want a relationship? First, don’t go looking for a relationship. If you go out to clubs, go with a gang of friends and don’t be on the prowl for men. Don’t even talk to them. Act as if you haven’t the slightest interest in men. Don’t set yourself up on dating sites. And if men ask for dates, always refuse them for a time. While you’re doing this, play the vulnerable card to temper your ivory tower status. A girl simply in a tower won’t entice a chase; men never go for something totally unattainable. Reveal to potential suitors a certain tragic demeanor. Drop hints about troubles and sorrows and heartbreaks past. Appear nervous at times, even dejected. And when you set your sights on one particular fellow, start luring him in with friendship first. Be his pal, but insist you’re not ready for romance. Hint that you do find him attractive… maybe even have feelings for him… But you’re just not ready. You’ve got issues to work out and so much to deal with. This makes you both a challenge and a project; something that must be worked for. No man can resist that. If you’re a successful career girl, take heart. You can be the CEO of a Fortune 500 and still pull this off. It’s not rocket science. The main thing is don’t be afraid to be treated like a lady… and don’t be afraid to act like one.
Do you have a question for Liam? Ask Liam your question now.
Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.