I`ve been with my boyfriend for 16 years. We probably have sex once every three months or so. I don’t feel sexy with him and now I am thinking of having an affair. I want to feel beautiful again, I am 43 years old and he makes me feel like I am 70. He doesn’t look at me the way he used to. He only kisses me when he leaves, and I’m talking about a peck not a long passionate kiss. I don’t even remember when the last time we had an intimate kiss. He says it’s all in my head. What should I do?
Thank you for sharing this most troubling set of circumstances. In long term relationships, it is not uncommon for sexual appetites to wane, leaving partners feeling isolated, alone and unwanted. I feel the gnawing and desperate nature of your plight and I want you to understand that this dilemma is not one that is at all uncommon in the scope of relationships and sex.
I sense many things when I move into the energy of this situation, and one of the things I sense is that, in all honesty, you do not really wish to have an affair. If you did, my advice would be different.
I sense that your boyfriend’s level of stress is a major factor, as well as certain notions he has of sexuality and age. You, on the other hand, never really dealt with your issues of feeling not-so-sexy, not so pretty. This seems to have existed in you long before you met your boyfriend. When he made love to you, it was a compensation for that missing element — it filled a void, and you came away feeling content and adored. But when his touches grew infrequent, you felt less and less sexy. Here, Lynn, is where the real problem lies.
Men, as a general rule, are attracted to women who feel themselves sexy and are confident in all their endowments – women who feel that way without a man’s assistance or input. On a subconscious level, the less your boyfriend touched you, the more you were sending the vibration not to be touched. The less sexy you felt, the less he came to desire you.
Quit blaming your boyfriend. Indeed there’s a laundry list of changes that can be made… he needs physical exercise and a major change of attitude. But lets begin with what we ‘can’ work with right now – you.
Go back and reread the articles on how to spice up sexless marriages. We present sort of a step by step on how to sex up your personal world. Sensual vibration is contagious. Once you start exuding sensuality, true magnetism forms. In your case, I’ve a feeling that you can turn things around with some work and patience.
In the end, though, be prepared. Female sexuality is a dangerous thing, a virtual cauldron of simmering temptation and riveting force. Unleash it, and he’ll come back into the bedroom, indeed… But you may just find that he is not adequate for your newly awakened tastes. And in the end, I’m not sure he’ll have the strength to rise to your challenge – perhaps another man will. Time will tell.
Psychic Liam, ext. 9290
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