Sex Q&A: Do You Really Need a Man?

Natalie from New York, New York asks:

I never question my sexuality, and you would be the only person I would ask about it.

I’m somewhat disappointed with men, generally. I feel they are not as strong, at least not as strong as me. I had a series of relationships and would even stay in some because of sex. You see, I’m extremely sexual and just can’t imagine my life without sex. There are very few things that make me tick as much.

I just turned thirty and recently learned how to experience the best orgasms on my own. I can make myself climax seven times in an hour. No other man could do that. Now I even begin to question whether I need one at all?

Of course, I would love to have a family and children, but with most men being weak and not as giving in bed as I am to myself—why should I bother? Please provide some insight on this clouded sexual thirty year old Pisces.

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, Natalie. And thank you so much for this interesting and totally refreshing inquiry. Human illusions aside, nature is an aristocracy, without mercy or remorse, and not all human beings fall into the same categories or follow the same wavelength. You are a seductress of a very specific type not seen much in this jaded age of moral anxiety and sexual repression. Your kind was more often seen in the heyday of the ancient mystery Temples of Aphrodite, Astarte and Ishtar where priestesses served the sensual Divine. Some of these women might be magickally wedded to very specific sexual partners in high ritual honoring the Goddess to maintain the fertility and prosperity of the empire, seeing their specific male partners only during rituals and rites. I speak to you about this because the issues you bring up with your inquiry are serious business. When I look at you, I see a powerhouse of elemental energy that requires very particular outlets with very special male partners.

You are not in alignment with the current social mind, and from what I see, you would be difficult for most partners you conventionally find to tolerate. I suggest you take up a serious study of the sacred sexual arts, and cultivate relationships only with men trained in Tantric or ceremonial magick. Find yourself a copy of Donald Michael Kraig’s book Modern Sex Magick and not only read it but live it. You will also benefit from the works of Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels as well as the Tantric books by Dr. John Mumford. Once you’re comfortable with the ideas and expressions, go out and find people in the sacred sexual community to hang with… It gets lonely being of a different breed, and a “family” can be found that doesn’t fit the traditional mold.

In answer to your question, no… you do not need a man. You don’t need anyone at all. But, there is a life path beckoning. I hope you will consider it. Service to the Mother isn’t for everyone, but I have a feeling it just might be for you.


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22 thoughts on “Sex Q&A: Do You Really Need a Man?

  1. Trish

    You are all right according to your level and belief systems. Natalie is a sensuous woman and that’s all there is to it. Feel free to express Natalie, because in the end, you must first please yourself on all levels. Men are our pets = personal emotional trainers. They help us emote feelings for something other than ourselves because we love to share ourselves.

    Each of us must satisfy ourselves in order to share the intimate self with another.

    Remove the guilt and self doubt around this issue and you will have a beautiful and sensuous life……loving and pleasure as a sensuous woman.

  2. Galina

    Kutie, this is a message to you. It is not estrogen that fuels the sex drive – it is testosterone. Women have it too. Those of us with higher level of it find ourselves with a higher sex drive. It goes with us throughout the whole life, and is not affected by the menopause. I am a 51-year old woman (Pisces too by the way), and all I know is that my sex drive not only is not diminishing, but is getting stronger as I grow older. And I find myself facing the same dilemmas as a lot of women here. I know what I want. However, finding a mate to grow and have good fun with at this age is really difficult, since so many guys are so sexually repressed, or just simple and unimaginative.

    Thank you Liam for your guidance and the books you have mentioned. Good to know that I am not on my own.

  3. Natalie

    Liam, thank you for answering my question. I knew you would be able to address my dilemma! I sure will study the literature recommended and keep my mind open to Mother’s calling.

    To all: Thank you for your interest in my question and I’m glad it spoke to many of you.

  4. rooksana

    I love someone, but I’m married woman , and my age is 47yrs. old this person who i’m love is 22 yrs old.but this love is just for net, he attractive with me and also me too, my husbnd is’nt romantic man . tell me what i do ,sry i can’t write in english.

  5. -er3-

    I feel the same way as you did natalie… not the sex part but the totally as how I think of men nowadays as weak than girls. I find them easily insecured by how a woman can be empowered…I dont feel they appreciated that fact… it hurts.. the moment they see us strong they dont know how we feel weak by then…

    I fall into that dilemma whether to be in a relationship or not… I know I am capable of loving a man but they easily leave me not until they will get to notice Im more than what they expect me to be.. they said someone better than them, who could give me more than they can offer will be the best suited for me. He’s wrong..for I thought to love is to be just right for him. How cruel love can be to some….how such a pain in the heart it can give me when I give my all.

  6. Darlene Thomas

    I feel as though I need to go on an spiritual journey of some type. I am ready for advancement as well a spiritual mate. Do you see this major journey in my near future?

  7. T

    Wow! I am so glad I read this blog. I am a soon to be 39 year old pisces and I’ve been feeling this same way for many years. Quite a few men and women have told me that I can be intimidating or hard to please sexually speaking. I’m glad to know that I’m not alone.

  8. scorpiolafuega

    This was a refreshing qna. Im not as sexual as Natalie, but I do believe you can be by yourself and be happy. I cant seem to find a partner who is as strong as I am. I love men, but the weak ones disgust me. I do want someone on my level sexually, but also as far as wills go we need to be equal. Great answer ^^^

  9. Athena

    Thanks Liam for your amazing insights! You are from the ancient days as well, an aristocratic wizard. Thanks again for the respect you show towards women:)

  10. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    I really resonated with Natalie’s question…..and find myself in same situation…..

    …but I’m older and realized long ago that I didn’t need or desire a man on a 24/7 basis……I have many male friends,and would rather hang out with men than with women in general, but really do prefer and actually enjoy being single and alone.

    I’ve turned down many proposals of marriage in past 6 years with no regrets…..I may change my mind in the future… but highly doubt it.

    Nice answer, Liam.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

  11. Adnan Shakil

    Dear Natalie,

    You are right that there are men who are weak due to their own mistakes or may be they don’t know how to give orgasm to a women, I could only learnt it after completing my 41 years of age.

    I am a married person and I could learn how to give orgasm to my wife even once after my fourth and last child born.

    So, there may be other things which you don’t know, thats why you should give time to your man and teach him that how he may satisfy you.

    Thanks & Regards,


    To Natalie:

    I can’t remember where the article came up on my computer but the article was about adapting to Robotic partners in the future that you could progarm for any type of sex life but, however, this is futuristic resolving no immediate needs for 7 orgasms/hr.
    As a man though Natalie you might consider it will presently require a mans’ sperm, in order to produce the family Mother Nature ordains? As far as needing a man goes, Natalie, a man who knows your needs wouldn’t have to join you in all 7 orgasms in an hr. would he, in order for him to help you achieve that desire? Besides, isn’t there more to having a man than orgasms such as his generosity, companionship, romance, et al etc.?
    Just sone thoughts you might like to consider, as you randomly walk through various ideas an opinions on your way to finding your maximum pleasures/satisfaction. Good luck!


  13. Christine

    For Natalie, thank you for the question you sent in, take the advice given I am going to I am almost 50 and I have yet to find a sexual partner that I appreciate in and out of the bed. Liam thank you for picking this question its nice to know I am not alone in this subject that isn’t spoke of often with a serious note…..C

  14. tammy

    As I begin to enter this next phase of my life I find myself often wondering if I will ever meet my “one”. I am now 49 have been divorced for quite a few years and my youngest son is graduating this year. So I am starting to get that empty nest feeling. I would so like to find that person of my dreams. But, I find that at my age dating and meeting people are not as easy as I remember when I was in my 20’s. I have done everything from meeting men through friends, other single parents at school events, and even the online dating. Only to find that just about every date I have been on end with one thing on the man’s mind that he think he is going to get laid. I find this so frustrating. I have dates come right out and say hey we just had a good time, your a beautiful woman, who is divorced with a teenage son. I am sure that you could use a nice romp in the sack. What is it with so many of the men out there that think divorced women are going to be an easy lay. I am a lady, not one to look for a one night stand, I just don’t believe in that. Not to say I haven’t tried the one night stand or just hooking up a couple of times cause I have and the out come is always the same I end up feeling like a slut, used, and just not good about myself and what I had done. So for the time being I just stick with my personal toys and am very good at pleasing myself. But, I do still long for those kisses, caresses, and being able to share the pleasure with another person. I also miss the companionship of a good, nice, decent man. So where are all these nice men and do you have any suggestions on what else I can do to find even a decent date that isn’t hoping to get into my pants??? I will say I did meet one man through a date site we did meet and he was wonderful. Great conversations, lots in common, a lot of the same values, very much a gentleman. The only bi hurdle is he lives in NY and I live in Calif. We still talk daily (or more). But, I am afraid that this will not last for so often long distance relationships don’t. Do you have any advise or insight that you can give this capricorn???

  15. Kutie

    I think this Natalies’ “estrogen” levels are at a racingly high level at age thirty…not all THAT unusual…I, personally think her biological clock is ticking very LOUDLY, and she could be very fertile right now…let’s see how she feels when she’s postmenapausal, and see how “sex crazed” she will be at THAT age…..

  16. Robin

    Go Natalie! I’ve recently decided that staying with someone just for sex is pointless……..that’s what they make “toys” for!

  17. Charmaine McDonald

    Great article, however, I still maintain that sex should be confined to the marriage bond, and the husband and wife can explore each other as they so desire.


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