Red Responds: He Wanted a Mommy

Jonan in Stafford Springs writes:

I am a disabled vet and I don’t drive. I just broke up with my boyfriend because he had a schizophrenic episode. I still love him but his behavior is something I can no longer deal with after three years of trying. My question is, will I finally meet the man of my dreams who can take care of himself and not want a mommy? I really want to start fresh but how? I thought of using a dating service but how do I go out and meet these people? I can’t very well have them pick me up at my home because they are strangers. I know that it’s better to be alone for all the right reasons than with someone for all the wrong ones.

Dear Jonan,

Before I answer your question, I want to thank you, for your service and your sacrifices. It is an honor to read for you.

On to business. It is going to be quite a process, but you will eventually meet, and marry, a guy who isn’t looking for a mommy. Unfortunately, meeting him is still about three years away. In the meantime, you will struggle with the healing process of your last relationship, and endure a bit of the dating game.

Your ex-boyfriend will try and win you back. Be careful. Even though you do still have feelings for him, some of his problems will never go away. Things can be stable and smooth for awhile, but between his personality and his sickness, this relationship just can’t seem to reach and hold a level of balance that creates the partnership you really want. This is a case where your head needs to override the pull of your heart.

I see you doing the Internet dating thing for awhile, but it really doesn’t seem like it really is your cup of tea. It helps get you back into the swing of things, though. Love may not find you through the wonderful web, but you will make some friends and have a date or two. It is face-to-face that your best connections are made.

I think that part of the reason for the demise of your relationship is to help teach you how to get back out into the world. Just because you don’t drive doesn’t mean you can’t get out and about. You will establish a relationship with an upbeat and energetic lady, who will become a very near and dear friend. She doesn’t mind playing chauffer, and she certainly seems to make it a mission to find things for you both to attend and do. One of the churches around you has volunteers who help out and transport elderly and disabled people, and even though you aren’t a member, they will have no problem working with you. I think this is actually how you meet your friend.

As for the man, I don’t know that he is what you picture as a “dream guy,” but you could do a heck of a lot worse. He is tall, broad-shouldered, and has a rugged handsomeness to him. Brown hair and eyes, tanned skin. He is a bit on the quiet side, but really down-to-earth, and comfortable to be around. He works with wood, possibly in construction. He’s got a great big heart, and the two of you will just click. Funny thing is, you aren’t necessarily looking when you meet him, and you certainly don’t expect it. You are just letting your girlfriend drag you along to her latest shindig, and there he is, unable to take his eyes off of you.

All you have to do is take things a day at a time, because your future is going to take care of itself.

I hope this helps!
Ext. 9226

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