Jessica in San Diego writes:
After I graduated from college I decided to enroll in a massage school for fun, and on the first day I met a girl there that knocked me senseless. The idea of being in a same-sex relationship was a notion I had thought about in a non-serious sense, but instantly with this girl I was completely terrified because of how much I liked her so quickly. The complication arises in that I would at least like to get to know her as a friend, but she acts just as much, if not more awkward around me as I do around her. And in the few occasions we’ve worked together in class I’ve felt such a strong whirl of emotions that I don’t know how to handle it. I would just like an idea of what is really going on here so I can figure out how to finally get some control of this situation!
It seems as if you have met a kindred spirit in class, one whom you have many karmic ties with. I can see how this could be a bit overpowering!
Your classmate seems to sense your attraction to her, and isn’t quite sure what to make of it. She also finds you attractive, but seems a bit more guarded or repressed when it comes to her sexuality. She isn’t sure if you are gay, straight, or bi – so she ultimately doesn’t know how to “be” around you, mainly because she doesn’t know what to expect. The result is her awkward demeanor toward you. Beyond that, she has a very natural shyness about her that isn’t helping you to get a better read on her personally.
I don’t see this relationship turning into a romantic one, but if you ask her to hang out, a friendship would ensue. To ease some of the awkwardness that exists between you, you may want to try opening the door with a line. Tell her she reminds you of an old friend or that you feel like you’ve met her somewhere before, so if she ever wants to hang out as friends – you are open to it. Don’t come on to her or have any romantic undertones, because she’s likely to decline or freak out. Just keep it simple and natural.
Anything beyond traditional friendship would have to be initiated by her, and I really don’t see it happening. She may think about it a time or two, but I don’t see her being comfortable enough with the thoughts to explore the reality. It looks more as if the two of you would become friends, and the sexual tension and attraction would fade.
I hope this helps!