Michelle in Canton writes:
I am facing a health situation that has made me think a lot about my life and relationships. While I think I have tried my best to evolve as a human and a soul and I have loved… I feel as though I have never been truly loved for who I am during my time here. Can you see anyone in my life that has felt that way towards me? Maybe I’m not seeing them. I would like to have some peace – right now I feel only sadness over this.
Health issues can certainly affect how we view ourselves and our lives. Sometimes, the in-depth reflections we experience as memories are colored by our current mood and state of mind. Many people, both past and present, truly love or have loved you. You cannot properly assess the depth and level of emotion another person experiences by comparing how you feel and present similar feelings.
Even though you can’t relive the past, there are people who no longer surround you that did love you, as you existed, fully and completely. Your memories are tinged with the thoughts of, “if they truly loved me, then…” but life isn’t like that. Just because their feelings weren’t expressed in the same manner you express yours, or because the relationships shifted and changed, it doesn’t negate that you were loved. Everything, and every one, changes. How we give and receive love changes as well. Every love we experience is different than the one that came before, whether or not the love is reciprocated. Intrinsically, you know this.
Right now, you aren’t loving life – or yourself. This doesn’t make you a less evolved person, but it does feel like you are carrying more than your fair share of depression. This also complicates your ability to recognize and feel how deeply you are cared about. To you, it seems as if you are just out there alone. Consciously or subconsciously, you put limitations on how close you allow people to get to you. Just because you aren’t in love or feeling overly loving toward the handful of people you do allow into your world doesn’t mean that they don’t love you for who are, exactly as you are.
Feeling at peace can be elusive, because we as humans tend to look for it in the form of outside confirmation. While that may help point us in the right direction, true peace can only be found when we accept ourselves, and what we know within ourselves.
People don’t necessarily love us the way we want them to, or the way we believe we need them to. But, you have been loved, Michelle. Maybe more importantly, you are loved, and will be loved again.