Red Responds: Her Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to Convert

Roz from Singapore writes:

I am a Muslim in love with a non-Muslim. In Islam, a non-Muslim needs to convert before they can marry a Muslim. My boyfriend does not want to convert, but I don’t want to let him go. I cannot imagine a future without him. We say we will enjoy the moment and see how far we can go, but as each day passes, we both want permanence. What do I do? Do we have a future together?

Dear Roz,

Even though you and your boyfriend do appear to be very much in love, your relationship is surrounded by religious and cultural limitations.

I don’t see your boyfriend coming to terms with converting. Even though he desperately loves you, this is a change that presents as a sacrifice he cannot or will not make. Likewise, I don’t see you turning away from your family, heritage, or faith in order to make a life with him. Your differences create huge limitations on the future that you can share, no matter how badly each of you wishes things could be different.

I’m very sorry, but the day will come when the two of you decide to part ways, because it will become too painful to stay together.

I really wish I had better news for you.


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