Red Responds: Her Daughter Has to Choose Between Two Guys

JB in St. Charles writes:

My youngest daughter is in college. She has two guys that she has feelings for. Guy number one is also a student at her school. They have a lot in common, have fun together, have dated off and on but she feels he is lazy and she has caught him in lies before. Guy number two, she has known since Junior High. She has always liked him. He had a relationship with a girl for three years. That she broke off about two months ago because she cheated on him and wanted to move in with that guy.

So my daughter and he started seeing each other after they broke up. His ex just contacted him and told him that she is pregnant and wants him to take a DNA test after the baby is born in about 7 months because she does not know if it’s his or the guy she cheated on him with. The ex said that even if he is the father, she does not want him in the child’s life. We don’t trust this girl because she has broken it off with this guy many times and lied about being pregnant before.

So what should my daughter do? Should she wait 7 months to see if it is his kid and then lose him to the ex if she decides she wants him back or even lose him because she can’t handle him being the father of a woman she can’t stand’s child? Or should she choose guy number one who is crazy about her but needs to be honest at all times with her?

Dear JB,

In all honesty, I would encourage you to have your daughter call one of our psychics personally, because even though we can link to her through you, there is nothing better than a direct connection with the person in the midst of a quandary. A reading really could help guide her with the decisions and challenges she is facing in her love life. Even though the two of you are very close and connected, sometimes the advice of a stranger has more impact than the advice offered from of those we love.

Your daughter really can’t see a solid and progressive future with guy number one. Furthermore, she’s right – he is lazy. While there are some compatibilities and good points to the two of them as a couple, he just isn’t showing her that he can be trusted in the long run. Even though he is crazy about her, he isn’t always going to be ideal and walk the straight and narrow when it comes to honesty. He just isn’t ready to be that tied down, or to uphold with complete seriousness, the level of commitment your daughter wants in a relationship.

There is a lot of drama that comes with guy number two, mainly circling around his ex. I have some concerns with his longer-range intentions with your daughter. He does have genuine feelings for her, but there is also a sense of rebound energy in that mix. Please encourage your daughter to be very mindful of how quickly she allows this relationship to develop. He still has a lot of healing to do resulting from his past relationship with this other girl. It is going to be a trying and challenging half year for him, because his ex girlfriend really is presenting as pregnant. I’m not even going to address the issue of paternity, because I’m getting more than just two father suspects. However, she is sincere in her statement of wanting your daughter’s friend to sign over his parental rights, should he be the DNA dad.

Neither one of these guys are shining through as your future son-in-law. The best thing you can do, under the circumstances, is encourage your daughter to think things through, and trust her own instincts. Ultimately, she has to decide for herself with whom, and how far, she allows things to go. Just remind her that she is a loving, intelligent, and attractive young woman who has a world of guys to choose from – it isn’t limited to just these two – especially considering her young age.

Good luck!
Ext. 9226

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