Nicky in London writes:
I recently made a huge mistake in telling someone I had strong feelings for them because I believed they might feel something for me. I genuinely thought he cared too but it turned out I read the situation completely wrong and he felt nothing for me and apparently never did. My problem is that I seem to read people wrongly a lot and I was wondering if you could use your insight to point out to me what it is about me that stops me connecting with anyone.
You connect with many people, but not necessarily in the manner in which you’d like. You have a very pure and honest energy, and that is paired with a softly romantic heart. While these are wonderful traits, it complicates your ability to discern the levels of interest and affection that comes your way. Because you are so earnest and honest by nature, you have a tendency to reveal a bit more than you should, before you should. While this may be the right thing to do, most people don’t quite know how to handle it.
Your friend does care for you, but he is trying to keep his interest at a more brotherly than loverly level. He has had more romantic thoughts and feelings, but is choosing not to act on them. It just isn’t the right time for him.
In the future, when similar situations present – and they will – try being a little more reserved. Rather than openly voicing your feelings, create opportunities for the other person to step forward and make the first move. If you can’t contain yourself and just need to know if the interest is mutual, find ways to ask the person how they really see you in the course of normal conversation. Such questions can be very insightful. Properly phrased at the right time, the other person may not even suspect you are actually fishing for information.
Some people have many loves and many lovers, others only experience one or two. You will find your match and mate, and he is someone who will actively pursue you. Until then, don’t harden your heart, but also don’t wear it on your sleeve. It is sad, but some of your best traits are what make you come across as a little naÔve. I’m in no way trying to insult you with that comment, so please don’t take offense. Not everyone is as genuine as you are, and when you can recognize that, you will have a much easier time accurately interpreting the level of the connections you achieve.
I hope this helps.