Red Responds: Meant to Help Other Women

Mary in Sacramento writes:

I feel instinctively that I’m where I need to be in my life but I also feel so lost. I need to find my path. I am a 38-year-old single mother of two boys, 17 and 9 months. The baby is the product of an incredibly stormy and strange relationship with a man who is 42-years-old, a professional cook and an alcoholic. I’m embroiled in such a dysfunctional relationship with him. We were living together with his 14-year-old daughter and my 17-year-old son. The situation quickly became a disaster.

The kids hated each other, we fought, he was abusive, and I became so also. After our baby was born I moved out. I immediately felt like I was finally home. I love my house and, for the most part, my life now. Although I am very overwhelmed. I feel this need to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing with my time left on this earth. I am a hairstylist, or have tried to be, for the last 8 years. For some reason, this has never taken off for me, I love it and hate it. The strange thing is that I feel like doing hair is my vehicle to help other women. I believe this is what I’m meant to do, but I don’t know how to get there.

I envision myself starting my own business, a salon with a spiritual bend – more of a healing place. I believe that what really comes out of getting your hair touched up or trimmed, is emotional healing. Self-love if you will. Am I completely deluding myself? Is this a fantasy wish or am I on to something? Any help on both areas would be so greatly appreciated.

Dear Mary,

Congratulations on “coming home.” Things tend to become more serene when we get our lives back on track, Kudos to you for taking back control!

You are, for the most part, on the right track. Yes, you are heading down the entrepreneurial path, with a spiritual twist. But it’s not quite what you think. Your thoughts are currently grounded in the traditional style of business, and that is keeping you from putting all the pieces of the higher-plane puzzle together. Your business is to be less about appearance, and more about feeling beautiful.

There is much of this that you are going to have to figure out on your own, because I’m only getting snippets of the entire picture. You are on your own healing path, and personal discoveries are going to guide you into the formation of your professional enterprise. I’ll tell you what I can, but the whole story is actually going to come from you.

I do see that you will have your quaint, spa-like salon. It is small, comfortable, and almost like stepping back in time. The lighting is warm and soft, and the décor is almost Victorian, but not quite. It is a relaxing and almost romantic kind of setting. While it doesn’t feel harsh and modern, the services you offer are. Aromatherapy, facials, massage, and other select hair services, including wigs. Here’s one of your missing pieces – while you are running a business, you are also going to be helping women, and donating some of your services. This is in part, how you will get your funding, because you will also be a public service, if you will. Not all of your services will take place in your salon, but you will also travel to hospitals and hospices, and women’s shelters. You will specialize in lifting the hopes and spirits of the bruised and battered, sick and the terminally ill. Cancer patients will make up a large portion of your clientele.

This is a joyous and heartbreaking path. You will get to know these people, their plights, and know that not all of them will have a long and productive future. Even though some days will be emotionally hard on you, I don’t know that you could plan for anything more rewarding. Your talents go far beyond cosmetology.

I don’t know what, why, or how – but your youngest son is going to make his mark in this world. Much of what he does is going to come from the things he learns from you. How something so bright can be the product of such a dysfunctional relationship, I don’t know – but I do know, as do you, that he was the point.

The best advice I can give you is to keep following where your spirit and intuition lead. You seem to be doing just fine on your own!

Brightest Blessings!
Ext. 9226

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