Cherlyn in Canon City writes:
Nearly three months ago, the company that I helped to build from its inception closed, after 8- 1/2 years, and I have lost my job. I did not enjoy the job anymore, but it gave me a sense of security and paid my bills, even though I lived paycheck to paycheck. At 39, I am unemployed for the first time in my life, and though I feel that I am trying, and that this is a great opportunity for progress in my life as I was very stagnated, I am not having luck finding another suitable job.
I have always been very driven and goal oriented, but now feel as if I have lost my way. I don’t know what I want to do, or which direction I want to head in. I am also involved in a very intense love relationship, and there are times that I feel it may be taking energy away from my true goal of a better career. I love him, and he is wonderful, but needy and smothering. With my Venus in Aquarius, this turns me off. He wants to believe that he is helping me, but sometimes I wonder if I am allowing him to hold me back. I see a bright future for us long-term, our astrology seems very compatible in most regards, and no one has treated me this well, but I am anxious to find what I want to do, and then go after it! I understand our charts pretty well, but need a nudge of objective intuition in the right direction, and as a double Sagittarius, I have great respect for the frankness I have seen you express on the site. I was born 12/14/68 and he was born 04/19/69.
Overall, your relationship looks pretty solid, but there is a glimmer of co-dependency going on. As a direct and strong energy yourself, you can handle this. I have to give your man credit – even though he can be needy to the point of fragile, the guy is always willing to try. The messages you send seem to eventually get through to him, it’s just not always immediate. Share your views and concerns in a manner that does not place blame, and his methodology of help and support will evolve. As long as he feels secure with you and the relationship, he is capable of being your biggest supporter and fan, without stepping on the toes of your independence.
Everybody needs a little down time, including you. You are still driven and goal oriented, but energetically, you do need a break. You haven’t lost your way, you just need some time to recharge and regroup. Don’t be afraid that your professional aspirations are going to detract from your relationship. It may make a few waves, but the two of you will adapt and adjust. A lover can only hold us as still as we let them.
I see that you are going to be involved in some type of education or study over the summer months. While it’s not like you are going back to school, it is a learning venture with a small group of people that will lead to some type of certificate, rather than degree. It’s a pretty high-energy bunch, and the experience will be enjoyable.
While I’m not 100% sure, I do believe you are going to try your hand at insurance, or an insurance related industry. It is a fast-paced environment, highly social, and has potential for a fairly significant income. As an added bonus, you aren’t always chained to the desk. Your work will call for some local travel and lunches that can be expensed.
While this may not make a whole lot of sense to you right now, it will in another couple of months. As you continue to search for your next calling, this opportunity is going to meet you half way.