Andrea in Milford writes:
I am writing because I never in my 25 years of life have had a boyfriend. I went out with someone for a few times only as a “hanging out” time in his eyes. I never went to prom, or any formal function as such. People around me had tons of boyfriends and I never had one. Everything else has come hard to me including my dream to have my own class to teach, which I am still working hard to get despite all my qualifications. I feel like I am just here on earth taking up space, trying hard and getting nowhere. Will I continue to be a shadow on life without anything to call my own? I appreciate any insight you can give.
Are you painfully shy? You have this sweet and gentle energy about you that seems to only be recognized by the people who you have allowed to become close to you. It seems like you are just a late bloomer, and have yet to reach your social and sensual peak.
You are nice, polite, intelligent, an over-achiever and guarded. This is playing with your social life as well as your professional aspirations. Hard as it may be, you have to learn to take chances, even if it means allowing your toes to cross your personal safety zone.
You aren’t a “shadow on life,” but you have honed your skills at blending in with the woodwork. What I don’t understand is what you are hiding from. Believe it or not, you will have your career, a husband and two kids. While you may feel like the clock is ticking, time really is on your side. While you may not know what it is like to have many lovers, you will know what it is like to have true love.
If you are looking to stay in the area, which you currently live, I see it taking about two more years before you have your own class. Fortunately, you are teaching prior to this – it just seems to be an availability issue regarding openings. If you are open to relocation, you can have your class much sooner, but you will eventually move back home.
The more relaxed and comfortable you are with yourself, and your life as it is, the less guarded you will become in your interactions with others. Even though the first 25 years of your life may not have unfolded as you would have liked, the next 25 will more than make up for it!