Tres in South Gate writes:
I’m a Gemini married for 12 years and now divorced for 5 years. Since my divorce I have had to work two jobs to raise my two boys. I love my boys, but I’m just plain tired! I’m tired of looking for a nice guy, I’m tired of trying to wait for my lucky break. When can I quit one job, find love and happiness or financial security instead of drowning in despair?
You have every reason in the world to be tired!
The good news is that things are changing, at least on the career and money front. This is where you need to focus your energy now, particularly if you want to have time for a love life later.
You are so caught up in “maintaining” that you really haven’t had the time or energy to do more than think about actually getting ahead. The whole process does come through as rather exhausting. So change the process, and learn how to ask for help – particularly from your state.
I see one job in your future that will replace both of the positions you currently hold. It is not going to just fall into your lap, but it will be an answer to your prayers.
I don’t know exactly who you need to contact to get this ball rolling, but I do see you working for the state. Talk to someone in your county about your position in life – this could be at the social security office, welfare office, or unemployment office. It is some office that is listed in your phone book. All I know for sure is there is a female employed by the government who has valuable information about training and employment with the state. You qualify for something, and if you are willing to take the chance, you can change your circumstances. Look everywhere you have to, but I see you working for the state by mid Spring, if you take the initiative and ask for help.
Decide now to quit living in despair. It’s an attitude, a choice. You’ve been treading water for a very long time, and that is a victory, not a punishment. So, give yourself a pat on the back, and keep looking toward the future.
Love will find you again, but I’m not seeing it until later in life. Now, that isn’t carved in stone because things are starting to change around you. Everything in life is connected – so as your circumstances change, so do you, and so do events and happenings. We have so much more control over our destinies than we realize. I am going to pass on to you the most profound piece of wisdom ever spouted in my direction. When I was 14 and in a very dark place, an older gentleman looked straight into my eyes and said, “Life is what you make it.”
Twenty-two years later, I still hope to see him again to thank him for that simple line. That one moment changed me, and every moment since has proven that he was right.