Red Responds: He Found His High School Sweetheart

James in Phoenix writes:

My high school sweetheart and I were together for about 2 years and then her family intervened because we were “too close.” Well 22 years went by and I found her. To make a long story short, we both left our spouses and lived together during two very horrible divorces. We ended up splitting again and she has since remarried. For the first 4 years of that marriage she stayed in contact with me, until I grew tired of it and changed my number. That was a year ago and I still think of her on a daily basis. Do you think I will see her again and if so when? Will it be the same?

Dear James,

Some loves just aren’t meant to be, even though the love is real. Time, circumstances and personal decisions often can disrupt the chances of experiencing the perfect union, or reunion.

I see that the summer of 2010 does bring with it the chance for the two of you to reconnect, but things seem to be limited to some phone calls and emails. Even though you both still have feelings for each other, your ex isn’t going to jump at the chance to see you in person, probably because she is still married.

Even though this woman does present as being a soulmate, life currently has you two walking down very separate paths. She hasn’t forgotten you, and she does think about you often, but she is immersed in and accepting of her current life. Even though you miss each other and both of you want to reconnect, her choices present as being an obstacle that will be hard to work around. It’s very difficult for the two of you to keep in touch just as friends.

I’m not going to say that you two won’t find another chance to be together, but from what I can see, that opportunity may be decades away. Hold on to your dreams and memories, but focus on the present. While you may not love anyone else quite the way you love your ex, you will find happiness in loving someone else.

Good luck!
Ext. 9226

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