Red Responds: She’s 40 With No Man and No Kids

Lisa in Columbia writes:

I just turned 40 and have never been married nor have had children. I so desire to have both. I’m very young at heart and I am told I look 10 years younger. Will I ever find that special guy and have a relationship and possibly a family? I’ve dated for so long and am a bit tired of all the games and frustrations that come along with it. I am happy with what I do have in my life but it would be nice to spend those special times, milestones and vacations with a special man. Is he out there? I’ve done all the online dating and meeting people through friends. Nothing seems to stick though. Either one or the other is interested or not and I find that these men just seem to be looking for fun and do not want to invest any time into getting to know me. In any case, I’m trying to stay hopeful! Any thoughts or advice?

Dear Lisa,

The dating game can be quite a challenge, but you have to continue to play if you want to win. The good news is that I do see you finding love and marriage in your future. The bad news is that you have to keep kissing frogs in order to get to your prince. Hey, at least he’s out there searching for you too!

I think it is very comical that you wrote, “Nothing seems to stick, though.” This all struck me as so funny because as I was reading your question, I was seeing you and your (future) husband goofing around in the kitchen while making a dinner. I actually heard the “slap” of a couple of strands of spaghetti being thrown against the refrigerator to check for doneness.

I really wish there were a similar test to determine if you found the right man! Since there is not, the dating game must be played. While I’m not going to discourage you from using your current methods to meet new men, I am going to encourage you to start volunteering your time. I wish I knew what organization or affiliation you are helping out with, but I’m getting nothing on that front. All I can tell you is that you are enjoying it, even though it is quite possibly something a friend roped you into. It is in this arena that you will meet the man you will marry.

He is tall, nicely built and doesn’t have the belly that reveals his love of cooking. He is most likely in management and is really fond of green ties. I don’t believe he has any children, nor do I see the two of you having a biological family of your own. There are times when you have kids around you, but it seems as if these are short-term visits – so I really can’t say that you adopt. This arrangement may very well be tied into your volunteer activities.

Keep on doing what you are doing, because the end result is, it works for you! Until you meet your man, take a lesson from those you’ve been dating: just have fun! You won’t have to throw anyone against any appliances, but when you meet your Mr. Right, he’s definitely going to stick.

Brightest blessings!
Ext. 9226

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